Greentext?
Told a Ukrainian girl I wanted to marry her. Her and her parents agreed.
Then I woke up.
7 messages omitted.
I used to be deeply involved with women but as of last year I've completely dehumanised them in my head. I only speak ironically or formally with them, I don't sexualise them apart from when I watch porn which is increasingly less-female and I don't have any female platonic friends.
I don't actively hate them, sometimes I fantasize about raping one of them but I don't really care about them a lot and I wouldn't be unhappy if I didn't leave any children behind.
It's not specifically MGTOW, but I have started to cut women out from my base necessities. Like when I walk in the street, I rarely look at or notice cute women. I look straight in front of me, most times, or stare them right in the eyes to make them uncomfortable.
What about you Bernd? Am I just a fox who's lamenting sour grapes?
17 messages omitted.
The sun
Bright, bold, clear, unchanging,
The masculine principle.
The moon,
Mysterious, shape-shifting, temperamental,
The feminine principle.
No sexism is implied here,
For both principles exist in both sexes,
In each one of us.
The sun is Shiva,
is the Lord,
The Father,
He is Awareness,
Brahman,
Stillness,
That-which-never-changes.
The moon is Shakti,
is the divine Goddess,
the Holy Spirit,
The phenomena that appear in awareness,
Maya,
Wisdom,
That which is ever-changing.
The moon’s light depends on the Sun’s
and cannot exist without it,
and Shakti emanates from Shiva,
and cannot exist without Him.
But there is no Shiva without Shakti:
They are one and the same,
the differentiation between them being only conceptual,
imaginary:
Divine mystical union,
Yoga,
Religion.
In Dzogchen the union is called cognising awareness,
or knowing spaciousness;
The spaciousness is samatha, Shiva,
The knowingness is vipashyana, Shakti.
All this mystical symbolism,
This esoteric terminology,
All just to describe Life,
All just to describe ordinary everyday experience,
All just to describe you,
As you already are.
FUCKFUCKFUCK IM TRYING TO FIND A FEW COZY MINS TO MASTURBATE BUT MY PARENTS KEEP ENTERING MY ROOM ASKING ME TO DO SHIT
AND ITS ALWAYS LIKE "BEEEEEEERND!!!" *opens door* "COME OUT AND HELP ME WOTH X" *doesnt close door*
AND THEN IM NAKED IN BED AND NEED TO FIND A WAY TO GET DRESSED UNDER MY BLANKET FUCKKKKK I SHOULDNT HAVE COME HERE DURING HOME OFFICE I WANT TO COOM SO HARD RN JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE ALREADY
1 message omitted.
Watched Akagi anime, want to learn Mahjong rules.
Diet didn't go well last week, this week it will go better. Added peanut butter muesli bars to the daily intake.
Sent application to volunteer for Red Cross.
Elections failed. Left block suffered a huge blow. Poor spirits.
Talked with a guy with autism from a Dutch autism website, good talk, meeting the 31st.
Housemate interrupted me in middle of call, not first time he's been insulting. Says I need to crack open window because my room stinks.
Bernd cleans his room and knocks on his door, say I'll complain if he keeps insulting. Guy works himself up into fighting mode. Luckily Bernd is calm and collected and this Moroccan nigger isn't given a reason to bite.
Immediately reported him to landlord/social worker for aggressive behaviour.
He doesn't know I read books about Auschwitz (Banalitat des Bosens) and know the best way to get rid of unwanted guests. That's just a joke in poor taste.
How was your week, fren?
1 message omitted.
Sixteen to twentysix year old women are always on their way to..Bernd2021-03-15 00:16:24 · 5yNo. 112090
>...OR GOING BACK FROM BEING FUCKED.
fucking LMAO
I used to be a skinny kid, but now I'm skinny fat.
I will start to monitor and limit my calorie intake and I will bike through the city on long stretches at a time. I used to be handsome and skinny, but now I'm pudgy and I look old.
Formerly fat Bernds, how do you solve this crisis of manhood?
22 messages omitted.
It did work for me though.
In my first year of living alone, I ate almost only burgers, pizza and energy drinks and ice cream while shitposting and when I dropped out of uni because of it I found myself skinny fat.
Building up muscles first and then having to do a diet only to lose some of your built up muscles sounds stupid.
Maybe there is some training magic tricks but I don't know them and am too stupid to use them.
So yeah I just ate healthier food, lost almost 15kg in one year and after 2 more years of only a few days with bad food / week and swimming/walking, I look good again.
Higher metabolic rates mean you can eat more and you'll burn it faster and store less fat.
Muscle growth is slow and will make you gain weight, preventing you from working out for longer periods of time because of your slow metabolism and cardio.
Losing fat first means you have a higher metabolism and cardio, eating more and working out for longer.
Whatever way you turn it, since gyms are closed, it's best if I first reach that BMI cut-off between underweight and normal and then start to eat lamb, chicken and fish like a crazed man once gyms open.
Day report time :)
>didn't get called by municipality welfare office
>promised my little eight year old brother to buy him a book of his choosing because I forced him to a park where there were dogs, which scare him
>he gets twelve euros budget
>go at three in midday, get allotted about thirty minutes
>the cheeky fucker is looking only at the most expensive things because he thinks he has a lot of time on hand
>I tell him if he doesn't choose by five past half four, he'll get nothing
>he freaks out and starts to pace around
>looks at minecraft, fortnite, youtube let's play vlogger and informatics books
>it's all stupid shit and too expensive and I criticise him
>try to get him to pick chess and math books
>he paces more panicked as time goes on
>eventually gets me to beg our mum for five euros extra
>she's cheap, but relents
>I have to convince him not to buy shitty books made to cashgrab or fucking fifty page informatics books that have less content than a wikipedia page
>he eventually grabs a book about some ice princess by the same guy/girl of Geronimo Stilton
>he's still visibly not happy but we're out of time
>'OK, i'll allow you to change your book once'
>he still struggles to choose and still looks at twenty six euro fantasia geronimo stiltons, begging me to allow him to keep the money for savings to buy fantasia's or to give him one more euro
>I rage because I haggled mom for one euro
>almost punch him, bookstore worker looks at me
>eventually I get him to let me pick a book for him
>it's a chess training book disguised as a novel
>le evil plan hatched
later
>video call with Primark, clothing retailer for job, I talk like normal, woman says I have to use normal language that describes what I think instead of showing off with difficult words and showing off that I can pronounce them
>mfw the most difficult word I used was empathetically
still later
>go to watch twin bro's taekwando training
>red dye hot sex moroccan twenty-ish girl is being a latent dominatrix
>me_likey.png
>she keeps glancing at me
>:))
Later I got angry at my mother because they put my smarter brother on soccer while he's bad at it and gets bullied instead of chess. I then figured out that chess can be fit into the schedule but she wouldn't hear any of it.
It makes me angry. At eight years old, he's late to training to become a potential grandmaster. Semitic people are very easily satisfied with mediocrity, it's so fucking pathetic. I got really pissed and kept pressing on the same issue, he also got a little upset that my mother blocks this development of his. That while she expects him to become a soccer-playing doctor. What a fucking retard.
She thinks that after elementary school and some taekwando he'll be exhausted, while if anything he'll be energised. A bite to eat and a drink to drink and he'll be able to calm down with a game of chess, after a day of mostly social and physical and little intellectual labour.
Anyways, his once chance at life probably won't have him become a Grandmaster. My mom thinks that unrated me can teach my little brother chess adequately, kek.
So, Berndie, how was your day?
If I can blog, so can you. It's not like this imageboard is used for much else.
Also::: KC chess tournament when?
11 messages omitted.
Update:
My mother and brothers bought a new 'book', a fifty page Lego playset that LARPed as a history book with factoids. My little brother already had plenty of Lego's beforehand.
I got angry, talked pissed at them, told my little brother he's never ever going to make it in chess and that even if he wanted to, he couldn't because he's dumb. He put his paws on my new chessboard so I hit him on the arm.
Pretty annoying kid that he tells me he's relatively happy with the gift and then tells my mother to return it, and that my mother tells me she's probably not returning it only to return it. She has fourtyfour thousand euros in her bank account and I have only loans and debts.
I campaigned in the city with flyers with two other youths and when I came back my mother wasn't very happy. We got in a fight and she talked angrily at me, so I made threats and death threats. I told her that it was smart of her if she didn't touch me because I would probably hit her really hard.
I left, blocked her on all communication platforms and then came back to grab my stuff and leave.
I feel a bit ashamed at this, but I also think that they shouldn't have disrespected me by returning my gift and buying a fucking LEGO playset, calling it fucking educational, and buying yet another 'history' factoid book when we already had plenty of history books and LEGO sets.
Stupid cheap, greedy bitch wouldn't return my money because I had bought my little brother a book, completely forgetting it was on MY TERMS.
Their mediocrity ticks me off. I am ashamed at what I said and did but I will not make amends or apologies because for their sake and mine, it's better if maybe I go six months or a year avoiding them. Then I can decide how I should approach them again if at all, and to what extent I want to be part of their family.
I wonder if I should kill myself for being such a piece of shit, mediocre faggot. I could get some narcotics, since suicide by hard drugs is said to be painless. I could buy sleeping pills and ingest them all and all of my suffering would immediately end. I really want to die, this life has little purpose and God is a joke.
TLDR; I fucked up and shit hit the fan because my family disrespected me and my autism powered up.
Oh yeah, fucking hilarious.
When I came back to get my shit, she had lost her anger.
She noticed I had blocked her even though I told her I wouldn't, but I told her never to contact me again after she told me maybe visits weren't necessary, especially not when my brothers were home.
So she lost her anger, tried to argue for controlled visits when my brothers were absent. I know what kind of death trap this is.
I told her that this is bullshit and that she would remain blocked and that I was going to fuck off and maybe I would see her when I was old.
My younger brother who wasn't the spoiled shit was asking me to talk it out, but I ignored him.
I then left, and on my way out grabbed three cookies from an entire box of cookies. She looked at me in an insanely pitiful manner and told me to take the entire box of cookies. I told them to have a nice life and fucked off.
I wonder if this is alright. I think that if I do not visit them or contact them for one or three months, I will be able to not visit them for ten or more years. I think it's alright if I permanently stopped contacting them. It would make suicide easier.
Her idea was that I would go away, as I was angry, and after having made up my mind come like a silly, impudent child to visit them and play the good son on her terms; which is to say; I sit in silence and tell them about my day and listen to shitty advice and lecturing and when they need me for help, I help and when they need me for something else, I do that too and all the while she controls everything.
FUck that noise, nigger. Fuck that shit.
I am an adult. If they want to be a retarded pointless family, they can be one. All fun has to be 'safe', all conversations have to be 'safe', if I want to buy a gift it has to be the thing the child most desires, if I want to teach the child a life lesson it has to be 'safe' and 'voluntary'. Atheism doesn't exist and homosexuality is okay if it stays outside of the house.
Alright, good, good, good. Live your lives and die like livestock, I will sit on my own loneliness until it's too much to bear and then I will kms.
I fucking hate this life, everything is mediocre and pointless and everyone is fucking stupid. I think I won't be older than thirty, I will kill myself before I become thirty years old. I will overdose on heroin or sleeping pills or something else painless.
Berndie, are you planning to start a family? Would you marry a woman that you can't be yourself with or would you rather live your life in solemn retreat?
9 messages omitted.
I am a 30 something year old virgin
4 messages omitted.
Go get yourself a nice, clean, good quality whore. Do not forget a prostitute is at least *honest* about what she is, and what she is good for. Choose them with care. Treat her well if she is treating you well, be honest and friendly (but don't go White Knight/SIMP ('I'mma in love nows!', 'she Pretty Woman I'mma her Loverboy!', 'I rescue her!' and bs); she is no damsel in distress).
Get laid and done. Preferably a few times, with diff ladies. Try experiment to find out what you like, what not. Later, if you got some experience, find a grill and guide her into your rapedun- err, your castle, as the princess that she is. Make babies nonstop, teach her to be good waifu, to clean up after her, to make sammiches mucho. And tacos. Godspeed, texan boi.