My first girlfriend was in kindergarten... our mothers were friends, Edith always joked that I would be her daughter's husband. For as long as I can remember, Irma was by my side, as my playmate, over the years we were close friends and by the time I was 16, in high school, we started dating.
Irma was my first everything, I will always remember her with all my affection. She passed away the following year due to a stroke right after her 17th birthday. My parents died a few months later, in a car accident. Despite the grief of mourning their loss, her mother has always supported me and been there for me, thanks to her I am what I am today.
The affection I feel for her is very peculiar, I love and appreciate her with every ounce of my being, I admire her, as we do not share blood and she is the only woman who has been with me in all the stages of my life, but I do not know how I feel about it.... I can't even remember my mother's face.
It will be more than a decade ago, I love her a lot because she has been able to advise me, she attended my graduation ceremony... she played the role of my mother for my wedding.
I remember, I still remember, how I hated to breathe... how much I wished I was gone too... added to the grief, the academic and financial problems, and I reflected; if I am carrying so much, I can't imagine her... with her life and now carrying mine. I felt like a good-for-nothing. Every night I drowned my feelings, the sobs turned to choked cries and these to despair. I don't know if she sensed or was well aware of my state of mind. In the darkness of the night she suddenly entered, witnessed how I screamed into the pillow and drowned my lament in a futile attempt to await silence, she sat to one side, put her palm on my back, I turned looking for her gaze and found empty and taciturn eyes, she lay down next to me and whispered a song in my ear: "Y sin embargo, sigues unido a mí existencia y si vivo cien años,
cien años pienso en ti" while her arm comforted me and her leg embraced mine. ... his voice was slowing down and getting sweeter. I understood that I was not alone, that I had someone for whom I could not give up. That night I was aware of memento mori, that at some point I will have to take care of Edith as she has been taking care of me since almost always.
My wife is not very happy about my relationship with Edith, as I have told her all about it. Unfortunately she knows me... She knows the answer if she gives me a choice.