Another sleepless night of thinking about whether Bernd should just die.
"I can always just die if things don't work out" used to be my motivation to try my best the last years amd I achieved so many things but it seems like none of this mattered.
I am still empty inside, nobody except for my family truly cares about me (and even they have their own vision of what my happiness is supposed to look like...)
My body is broken and it keeps getting worse, I am kinda recalculating wether I should keep fighting or not.
If I don't, just dying is boring.
Since I have nothing to lose I could pull of something, like, blowing something up or take someone with me who deserves it.
What would Bernd do?