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United StatesBernd2022-06-20 05:13:35 · 4yNo. 176143reply
I came from Europe to the US not so long ago and since I still don't have my docs and a normal job, I rent a room from one lady who lives alone with her small daughter.
 
After a while I realized the lady is such an interesting specimen for analysis.
So lets start with the fact she doesn't clean almost at all (only a couple of times a month she would clean the hall lightly for her daughter's tutor while her room, her bathroom, and the kitchen are constantly messy with things thrown all over the floor). She doesn't have a notion of tidying her desk or a shelf, or anything at all. She even cannot keep in mind where her part of the fridge is or how to close a drawer or closet door after herself. If I don't close the drawers in the kitchen, they all stay open(the doors of her closets and drawers in her room are always open). I even did the experiment by closing the doors in the kitchen and then observing how she makes them all open. Her hand goes to the drawer, she opens it, takes out a glass, then her hand makes a motion as if to close it and, stops midway, and never achieves the process of closing.
The same goes with the fridge The fridge is separated into two parts, mine being the right one. Very often I find things that she put in my part of the fridge. I also did an experiment with it - I would leave an empty spot on my side of the fridge and then observe her put something in the fridge - she opens the fridge, her eyes absentmindedly scan for an empty space, she put the thing that she held in her hand at the empty space and she closes the fridge(at least one thing she can close, lol).
One time I tried showing her how to tidy up a shelf in the kitchen and she started whimpering - "No, I cannot do this, I remember I had this roommate that was forcing me to clean and it was hell! No, please, let's not do this!"
 
I got very interested in what the hell is wrong with her(cause it's clearly some sort of disability) and started accurately asking her about her past. Here is what I learned:
She started hating cleaning in her childhood. She told me her parents were forcing her to clean and maybe it is the reason she hates cleaning. After more inconspicuous questioning, it turned out her parents were simply asking her to clean up a bit to which she was throwing tantrums.
She was married twice and both her husbands divorced her and possibly one of the reasons was her utter refusal to clean. She told me her first husband was asking her to clean after she cooks to which she absolutely refused saying "I'm much younger than you, be glad you can fuck a young girl and don't force me to clean". He hired a maid and soon divorced.
Her second husband divorced with her pretty quickly even though they had a child. I suspect not wanting to clean played a big role in it as well. I met him a couple of times and he was joking about how she never cleans anything.
And there are plenty of more examples of her not wanting to clean and suffering because of it.
 
So now I would ask the psychologists and doctors in here - what could be the reason of such behavior? Is it physiological, some sort om ADHD? Or is it psychological and might be somehow related to the fact her mother took her to States from the Soviet Union while she was a little kid and she never saw her father again?
GeorgiaBernd2022-06-20 05:47:16 · 4yNo. 176149reply
Does she clean herself? Is her hairs allright? Does she dress wiht clean clothers?
How old is she and her daughter about?
Pics from some room whould also nice to see. ofcourse without doxxing shit on it.
 
In my 20s I had a few friends where also dont clean at all one of them also had a car where you litterly had to sit on garbage with your ass and feet also when open the car door everytime some junk like bottles fall out. One time on speed I start cleaning up at some friends place and he had to join because I had to ask him all the time where to put things than I realized this persons dont have any clue where to put there things. they have no plan for it thats at least one part why ther rooms look also like junk.
United StatesBernd2022-06-20 05:57:05 · 4yNo. 176153reply
If she cleans, she does it herself. And only when the tutor comes or she has guests.
Her hair is just long and there are signs of gray hair she's too lazy to dye.
She washes her clothes but she never organizes them. The clean clothes lay either strewn over the bed or in the laundry basket.
She is 49-52, I don't know the exact age. Her daughter is 7.
I'll look for some photos. I definitely made some.
CaliforniaBernd2022-06-20 06:22:36 · 4yNo. 176163reply
CaliforniaBernd2022-06-20 06:23:35 · 4yNo. 176165reply
It's her room. And it's in a pretty tidy period on the pic.
 
PS - Don't know why it suddenly switched my ball to California, lol.
MexicoBernd2022-06-20 06:41:05 · 4yNo. 176169reply
My family and I have the same problem, curiously my brother who has schizophrenia has his whole room without things, he throws them in the trash. I really don't know where to put things, I heard a long time ago that people in the USSR didn't have many products and they tend to accumulate things due to scarcity.
CaliforniaBernd2022-06-20 07:09:50 · 4yNo. 176182reply
Interesting! Does your brother throw out things that he doesn't need or does he throw out everything he can throw out? Would he throw out a t-shirt he just bought?
 
Regarding people from USSR - sometimes it's true but it's not like she accumulates things. She just can't organize them at all.
RussiaBernd2022-06-20 10:07:11 · 4yNo. 176232reply
 
>my brother who has schizophrenia has his whole room without things, he throws them in the trash
 
Based.
United StatesBernd2022-06-20 17:41:00 · 4yNo. 176347reply
How do rooms look in the russia?
United StatesBernd2022-06-20 18:11:00 · 4yNo. 176365reply
you might be surprised by the amount of people who live in utter disorder. you can read landlord forum horror stories. there used to be a tv show where they went and cleaned the homes of messy people and you can see these on youtube. i don't think there is any single reason or disorder that causes people to be like this. many are depressed, some are just very disordely people who don't care about living in filth.
United StatesBernd2022-06-20 18:13:08 · 4yNo. 176366reply
United StatesBernd2022-06-20 20:42:55 · 4yNo. 176426reply
Wow thanks.
 
Yeah, this lady is definitely depressed. The interesting thing is, if she cared about cleaning, she wouldn't be alone. And she's adamant on not cleaning, which leads her to not having a husband, which leads her to have a depression, which further deepens her habit of not cleaning. I guess she'll spend her old age alone in a very dirty apartment)
 
Regarding people who don't care living in filth and don't even have any underlying depressions or anything like that - those are the worst. They don't deserve to live honestly.
SloveniaBernd2022-06-20 20:52:08 · 4yNo. 176429reply
I don't think it's depression.
More likely I'd say it's hereditary, and her parents forcing her to clean was likely good intentioned, her parents (or one of them) also lacking instinctive drive to cleanliness but rationally being aware of it & trying to compensate for it with learned behaviour. However it seems to have backfired.
 
>I heard a long time ago that people in the USSR didn't have many products and they tend to accumulate things due to scarcity.
I mean, we have this in my family, but at least we keep our shit stashed in a separate room that exists specifically for that.
United StatesBernd2022-06-20 21:52:00 · 4yNo. 176480reply
Interesting thought. Now I wonder if this heredity is genetic or psycho-cultural.
Such an interesting case.
RussiaBernd2022-06-20 22:37:56 · 4yNo. 176537reply
VenezuelaBernd2022-06-20 22:39:47 · 4yNo. 176539reply
Kek, that's unexpected
United StatesBernd2022-06-20 23:03:59 · 4yNo. 176570reply
Apart from the ugly design, it all looks very tidy.
DenmarkBernd2022-06-21 16:42:12 · 4yNo. 177060reply
MexicoBernd2022-06-29 05:16:32 · 4yNo. 187924reply
He did throw away everything they gave him, it seems that he has obsessive-compulsive disorder, he thinks that things have germs, he did not like some colors like red, he would get paranoid about thousands of absurd things, he would not accept any food from me, he told me that I secretly spit it out, lasted up to 5 days without eating.
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