Step 1: Be a Serbian man living in Kosovo in 1985
Step 2: Get the urge to shove a glass bottle into your anus
Step 3: it breaks…
Step 4: go to the hospital and blame your self inflicted masturbatory neurocy as a ethnic crime carried out by two Albanian irridentalists
Step 5: laugh as your country violently spirals into ethnic conflict and falls apart
May 1985: the Dorde Martinovik incident