Sorry. I just did it once because I couldn't stop myself. After it I said sorry to my cherry tree several times and hugged it.
Hm, I might.
I don't really have a lot of self confidence on the violine because there are so many pros, but I definitely can play.
Glad there are so many Bernds feeling the same as me.
Once this lockdown ends I WILL go and change my life. I will make more friends irl and get a gf. No matter what. I'm so sick of myself just sitting in my room studying, shitposting, and playing games.
Next door my brother is sleeping with his gf right now, while I am writing this.
I'm 23, looking average or even better, upper middle class.
What is holding me back is Berndism and a visual impairment. Sometimes my eyes do some weird little moves, and I can't look people in the eyes because of it because I was always afraid of them noticing it.
My plan is to go to orchestras and maybe even some choirs and there I will hopefully meet some girls at my age that grew up with similar settis:
- religious/traditional family
- not rich, but wealthy
- 100% germanic 14/88 family
- say scheiße -> get soap in mouth jk
There are actually a lot of them, I used to be friends with many of them while I went to the orchestra when I was a teen.
Too bad I was always too shy to talk to them more than needed. Then I went to Japan, didn't touch my violin for a long time, became shit at it and started to hate on classical music like an edgy teenager and all my contacts were lost once I returned home.
I spent the lockdown since June 2020 in an internet relationship with a girl who also suffers from Berndism. I actually had feelings for her because at some point it felt like she was just a female copy of me.
However, recently I started to think that if she was german too, she probably wouldn't even have become friends with me.
If I am wrong about this then I can never look in her eyes again (for even thinking about it) and if I am not, then this has to end as well, obviously.
I have always made fun of people who were in internet relationships and now I learned the lesson myself, like the fool that I am.
Whew... What an essay.
Sleep well, Bernds.