actually just the other day. gaz right, he was getting right pissed off at baz and he said to daz 'oi that baz joker is getting right up my nose, i'm about to take my pike and shank the cunt' and daz said 'whatever mate you say that everytime baz does some silly shit and that's all the time because he's a bit of a silly cunt is baz' but gaz was all like 'nah i fucking mean it this time, i've fucking had enough' and daz is like 'yeah whatever mate the football is on in a bit so piss off' but gaz actually goes and gets his fucking pike right and actually has a go. but honestly gaz is a bit fat these days and the daft prick gets it stuck in the fucking door like. anyway spaz, thats what we call the local copper (he's a wet fuck he really is) sees this and goes 'oi, are you using a pike without a license? youre fucking nicked son' but gaz isn't having any of it cause he was actually a advocate for a bit and worked for english history so he says 'fuck off spaz, royal ordnance of 1163 charter of arms 11;b, third paragraph specifically says that you may use a pike to kill a scotsman after the 17th of every month after the solstice and baz's last name is mctaggart which sure is fuck isn't from fucking scunthorpe alright? so just fuck off already'. well spaz wasn't too happy about but he's not sure either and you don't want to piss of english history these days so he radios distpatch and low and fucking behold gaz was absolutely correct. now this puts spaz in a bit of a pickle, as while it is legal baz is a minority and that sturgeon is a right cunt about it so he's not really sure what to do. luckily gaz's misses is a bit of a handful and doesn't fuck around and it's nearly tea so she comes out and says 'oi you stupid bastard what the fuck are you doing get your daft hat inside and put that fucking pike down, think your oliver cromwell do you? me mam told me not to marry you you silly shit and she just starts slapping him. so that was that. bit of a lark really.