
an entire week of schizophrenic revelations about life & no 1 to share it with

I know a place

Touch grass bro...

>>341254
i even have sex bro...

>>341262
Sure thing bro.... with you right hand I presume on your schnitzel....or your anime Gf....poor schizo

>>341262
Prove it, you won’t, no balls

>>341236
I'll be stating the obvious but society and its popularity contests are gross.
I have been an outcast most of my life until recently and I finally managed to act normal among people, build some rapport and even get others to mimic me. I can be likeable.
I realized that being a part of the group isn't that great cause you have to repress parts of yourself frequently and most people aren't really liked for being themselves. Even when you indeed are sincere most people are incapable of understanding you anyway.
Not only that, groups of people are near sociopathic with how much they're willing to let high-status("cool") people get away with shit and that's kinda disappointing, while someone can be punished for simply the crime of being weird.
So when it comes down to it, I don't really get why people spend so much time "hanging out" like that, get involved in petty drama, etc. Who benefits?
At least I'm happy I'm capable of adapting socially now.
Yeah, I guess these revelations aren't schizophrenic but pretty normie, sorry.

>>341291
Drama sucks I agree with that but I personally like hanging with people who have similar interests or humor.

>>341298
idk who i would say i like to hang out with
people who are validating i guess
which does involve similar interests sometimes (its just one thing you can validate among many)
i usually dont expect people to share my interests, just tolerate them
>>341300
>i usually dont expect people to share my interests, just tolerate them
You know, it’s hard to find people like me too. I have chaps but they just have similar attributes Non are anywhere near “Like me”.
When I was in school, I had friends not a single person was like me however. I was a nerd back then, reading scientific papers and a kid came up to me. I hadn’t spoken with him too much over the year but I would had considered him a friend. He asked me that is that, now this guy was a was smart so I told him my paper, he didn’t understand but he was supportive. He talked loudly to his best friends as I released, I could never be such strong friends with him.
For most of my life, my friends or groups were people who were similar to me either humor wise or intelligence wise. Finding people who were both took so long, but I found them. Those who there is a mutual understanding of intelligence and who has my same brand of humor me. Indeed I enjoy these people and when catching up with them, I still enjoy them. However, there is just one thing that makes the mutual intelligence fail, is how with me being smart and funny with power and leadership, im also a degenerate loser who likes balls.
It is extraordinarily hard to find people like me. I had friends who looked past me being a degenerate but besides humor, that was really it. All my other friends made fun of me, I make fun of me, and now krautchan makes fun of me. Im aware I’m a loser, but I don’t want to change, juxtaposition is part of who I am. It’s hard to talk to people about e8lie then Japan countryhuman porn then vector bundles in the same paragraph along with other references to other scientific papers, history, culture etc. most people like minded will think that im fucked and stupid, and dumb people who would get me would not know what I was talking about. To find somebody , ONE PERSON who can understand what I say and get what I do, would change my world.
This is why I like KC because I can be my self. People only know my personality on KC, the personality that fights for what they love. You guys are my group. <3


Time to fuck you all in the ass hard.

>>341380
Me first

>>341303
You're completely right. It is extraordinarily hard being weird or unique.
But, I don't think it's quite your affinity for the countryhumans itself that makes you a "loser" or being autistic itself. Nor does someone saying means you are one - the only thing that means is that you don't act the way they want you to. Which may be worth paying attention to, or it might not be.
People actually don't mind eccentricities as long as you have something they want. You'll find a lot there are people with weird hobbies but they are instead spoken of as something "charming" instead of creepy.
At least that's how I see it. I’m here if you want to talk more

>>341431
>something they want
There was a time I gave things to people who didn’t deserve it. I had to pretend to smile because I did not want to lose someone dear to me. Wanting to cut ties with him, was seen as rude of me as if I was a bad guy for having such thoughts. I had gotten better with him, but I think about how different things would be if I did leave the few people I hang with.
>want. You'll find a lot there are people with weird hobbies but they are instead spoken of as something "charming" instead of creepy.
My friends all laugh at me for being a mod on krautchan. I find it funny too, but considering I love taking care of this place It hurts me a little bit when the only thing they see this place as a porn site despite me telling them it not or it’s more then that. Nothing too bad came form this dynamic, but there was this one time when I told some chaps of mine when /HS/ was getting removed that I was getting death threads everyday, they felt sorry for me an then I told them “on krautchan” and they went “oh, just ban them” thats how low people think of KC.
On this topic of friends with KC, Im tired of my friends making egy jokes, like hitler, minors, animals etc. I almost want to say “ITS NOT AS FUNNY WHEN YOU SEE IT!!!” but I can’t. I don’t want them to see the things on KC, because to do that I would need to exist in the first place. I just end up fake laughing because it’s not as big as a deal as it sounds.
>I don't think it's quite your affinity for the countryhumans itself that makes you a "loser"
What are you talking about, that’s what makes me a winner

>>341435
That's a bit dismissive, suddenly stopping caring about death threats just because it's on a site you moderate. If anything there's a lot more responsibility in taking care of an entire website.
If these people don't see your struggles, do you have anyone who does?
blogposting.
It is impossible to chase what you have never seen. Being deprived of the basic truths is so insiduous, your brain starts twisting reality into something it is not. So, your own life becomes unexplainable and foreign, and you - a stranger to it.
But how do we find that which we do not know is missing?
I find verbalizing our life seems to bring a lot of clarity, your body's pain seems to speak a lot of truth and, finally, fresh experience is always good. Whatever keeps you from being alone with your warped mind.

>>341438
>responsibility in taking care of an entire website.
Whoa hold on, don’t give me too much credit, BO is the real hero. I could never be as cool or likable as BO. Kek what’s funny is when people report messages, they say “Tex or hey Texas” it always puts a smile on my face, when it’s not reporting someone too bad.
>do you have anyone who does?
No, I don’t, I am alone in this battle. I do not deserve recognition for what I do, nor do I want it. To have that I would no longer be noble in my service.
>alone with your warped mind
That is a completely different story I don’t want to get in with on KC. It’s bad man, I probably a schizo. As the voice and thoughts dance in my head.

>>341438
>It is impossible to chase what you have never seen. Being deprived of the basic truths is so insiduous, your brain starts twisting reality into something it is not. So, your own life becomes unexplainable and foreign, and you - a stranger to it.
I was going to dismiss this section because I thought it was wrong, but after reading it a few more times I have a better idea, can I interest you in Polandball?

>>341439
>No, I don’t, I am alone in this battle. I do not deserve recognition for what I do, nor do I want it. To have that I would no longer be noble in my service.
Hm, but you did say before that you want at least one person who gets you. I think you're right when you say they would be completely world-changing. There's nothing more liberating than someone who sees your struggles.
>>341440
That section was more about my life experiences than anything else. I was just doing writing practice. Why do you think that's wrong? Maybe I didn't convey my message quite right.

>>341443
>they would be completely world-changing
Person will be more than friend most likely and im not really for that.
>Why do you think that's wrong?
Perhaps I wasn’t the target audience for your writing. I read it wrong, but understanding oneself is not “impossible”. Hard but not impossible. Will probably going to more detail.


>>341451
>Person will be more than friend most likely and im not really for that.
yeah, i think you know what you're doing
>Perhaps I wasn’t the target audience for your writing. I read it wrong, but understanding oneself is not “impossible”. Hard but not impossible. Will probably going to more detail.
You're right. But it's not that it's impossible period, but that you can't really learn alone all on your own with your sheer mindpower. Everyone relies on each other to learn and you have to, too.
That's something I missed for a long time. My childhood was marked by my parents being very unpredictable, lacking affection and dismissing emotions, which impaired some of my abilities quite a bit. This is like losing the ability to see half the colors, because I couldn't understand courtesy, actual affection, handle failure, proper independence (not hyperindependence) and many other basic developmental stuff. What's more dangerous, people don't really know at a glance you're incapable of seeing things like they do when you really need help. They dismiss it as something that will just pass, as a mere eccentricity. So that what I meant by "basic truths" previously. It's a profoundly lonely existence because you're mentally far away from everyone. I managed to overcome this in the end.
But many never do. So that's kind of been something I wanted to communicate to people or write about for that reason. So they don't have to go through the same process.


>>341473
>you can't really learn alone all on your own
As I said I will go in more detail, that’s what I will do here and I will say you’re kind of right. To understand something you first need to know what that thing is, So what is you? A question that people had been asking for millennia. Talking about consciousness as a physical thing the you is much more then just your brain. /SCI/ speaking the “you” is made from the brain’s reaction to chemical stimulus such as hormones, the endocrine system reactions with the body, the Microbiome’s reaction to the neurons etc. it’s also a social concept, how there are many different “yous“ across every single person. These people will never understand you, they will never go through the same experience as you did, and they will never fully know “you”, But you can know you.
granted, it’s impossible to know you through the land of everyone you have ever met or who I’ve ever seen you but understanding the self is very possible. Such as interpreting your self into a form. Such as what you like writing can express the self, I prefer art because I can express the self in a way word never can. perhaps an exact feeling is possible to display but you are the only one who can know who “you” is. If you don’t know, then no one truly does.
>Bernd’s back story
Again, not knowing anything about “you” but knowledge of theories about early human development, your life must had sucked for a long time. You will truly struggle without a supportive childhood, the Milieu of a person is vital for success. We know from the Bronfenbrenner's Bioecological Model that the self is directly linked to the child is a miracle that Bernd overcame such hardship . Once again Im glad you over came obstacles of the impossible**that what Bernds do best** and hope your doing ok. And indeed your writing is good for those who need it, it really made me think philosophically.

Welcome to the PTSD Simulator called life 🍺🤠

>>341481
That's far out bro 🤙


Wack asf


Welcome to the war

:/


Whomp whomp lil bro




>>341493
What?

>>341494
Take your meds schizo

>>341495
I didn’t do anything
.

>>341496
Sure thing tweaker

>>341497
Nein DU!!!

>>341498
Nay

>>341498
Take your fckn medication

>>341500
==DU!!!!==

Skill issue


>>341503
I know, and im falling for his trap

>>341502
==DU!!!==

Touch grass homie
>>341505

>>341506
Never jikajaiakjaiakajaijaiakajiakajaiaij

>>341506
Shawty be tweaking from Texas, the heats got to cringetexaco

>>341507
Stays a shut in then

>>341509 bro be tweaking when the sports teams such as football teams from his state loses...


What is Bernd talking about

254 counties in a state and bro chooses to stay in his parents basement °~°

>>341513
Yeah, that's wack asf

>>341513
Actually, it’s my parents guest room so take that.

Dam stoners
>>341232
>>341236
>>341254
>>341262
>>341263
>>341268
>>341291
>>341298
>>341300
>>341303
>>341307
>>341380
>>341388
>>341431
>>341435
>>341438
>>341439
>>341440
>>341443
>>341451
>>341458
>>341473
>>341479
>>341480
>>341481
>>341482
>>341483
>>341484
>>341485
>>341486
>>341487
>>341488
>>341489
>>341490
>>341491
>>341492
>>341493
>>341494
>>341495
>>341496
>>341497
>>341498
>>341499
>>341500
>>341501
>>341502
>>341503
>>341504
>>341505
>>341506
>>341507
>>341508
>>341509
>>341510
>>341511
>>341512
>>341513
>>341514
>>341515

>>341515
Guest room in the basement I presume

>>341517
Bros gonna get blowed away by a EF5


Diddy party

>>341517
Go back to . .

>>341517
Autism, Aspergers and other mental problems Anonymous

>>341521
Never been there,4 chan on the other hand yas

One more yap and im about a snap

>>341521
Go back to . . . BrusselSprout chan

>>341524
Whomp whomp homie

>>341524
Bend over so I can give you the diddy treatment

>>341527
With or without oil

>>341525
==YOUR PRMA BANDED==

>>341529
With Johnson&Johnson lotion 🤙

>>341530
What a bad sport you are ole chap

>>341532
What a bad sport you are come on you know I wasn’t gonna do that

>>341533
Well, knowing you. It's hard to tell anymore

Some mods can't take a joke



>>341535
Come on

>>341535
Come on

>>341535
Come on

Honestly idgaf, dead ib anyway

>>341535
Come on I’m just playing you know I’ll never do that to you

>>341535
I love you

>>341543
I love you too bro <3

>>341542
Yeah, I know. Idk about the other mods though. Teehee

>>341546
BO can take a joke idk about Uruguay

>>341548
Full schizo mode 4 Uruguay

>>341549
Schizophrenia is three step progression:
1. Phenomenological solopsism
2. Epistemological solipsism
3. Ontological nihilism
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8619772/

>>341573
I can show you my 3 month supply of antipsychotics!

>>341232
existence is the illusion of the mind.

>>341576
I am disguested and admire myself. I am disgusted by my admiration.
I am some fucking narcissistic mentally ill nigger

>>341583
There is no art without narcissism because art requires the desire to present the greatness of your creation to others. Humbleness is silent and unconscious.
Art is conscious and loud by nature.

>>341586
"The Artist" is narcissistic by nature.
The object removed from the subject carries no characteristic

God is the only unnarcissistic artist by nature.
We are imperfect because of our narcissism.
God is love because all beings are seen as an equal aspect of creation.
To be empathic is to be godlike.
Nonjudgement is godlike.
This is what the major religions aspire to

>>341588
The implication is that iconoclasm is correct, and that religions like islam or sects such as the amish are correct and speak for themselves

>>341480
>To understand something you first need to know what that thing is
yup. Now that I think about it my messages touched upon epistemology, too. (together with psychology, societal problems) Cause lacking knowledge in one area may end up affecting everything esle that you know, I guess.
>These people will never understand you, they will never go through the same experience as you did, and they will never fully know “you”
I suppose that's true, but at one moment I felt saved by someone seeing a side of me no one else saw. Even though they really did not see the true me, they knew the exact motions to make me feel normal again. I could never forget that. So sometimes I wonder how often people just go on with their lives lacking something critical like this. Have you felt like that?
>the Milieu of a person is vital for success. We know from the Bronfenbrenner's Bioecological Model that the self is directly linked to the child is a miracle that Bernd overcame such hardship
That's something I eventually realized, but only recently. I'm just a product of my own environment and so are the others. If I went through what they did I would probably learn everything they know all the same. So I don't really feel jealousy or anything towards them anymore, besides wondering what they could teach me. I don't really care about nature vs nurture debate either cause there's only one side I can do anything about. Most of the time people taking part in that dumb debate are in it just because they have an agenda that their belief serves.
>>341516
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa joe biden wants to take over the thread wtf

>>341590
>Cause lacking knowledge in one area may end up affecting everything esle that you know
Same many change Reality to fit their beliefs instead of change believes to fit reality.
>Have you felt like that
Nein Bernd, peeling back everything, it’s me and Polandball against the world.
>feel normal
feel normal, since when has Bernd ever been normal. Bernd is a leader bernd is an idol, great people don’t come from being “normal”. Any other person would had saw CP and left, any other person would had gone to a place more Active, any other person would never go on chans, [b]BERND IS NOT ANY OTHER PERSON[/b] ,perhaps you’re looking at things for a wrong angle. Bernd was never supposed to be normal, Bernd was ment to play with the stars in the sky.
>That's something I eventually realized, but only recently
I remember when people on tv would say when getting bullied, “you would hate yourself if you were me” or some dumb thing along those lines. I thought to myself “No shit buddy, if I was the same in every way then I would be that person”. So I learns it early, but it is a different concept to comprehend. How you can share almost everything with somebody and yet the environment they grew in affects them to this day.
as for the rest, I have a the experiment for Du. If a robot looked like a human, talked like a human, and acted like a human, would that machine be human? **now if a pile of flash looked like a human, talked like a human and acted like a human would such a thing be human?** chemiball speaking all things are just made of dead things, so perhaps there is no point to death because we where dead the moment we where born. Idk I just like things to my self, things my friends wouldn’t understand, and that’s why I have KC <3.

>>341590
>biden wants to take over the thread wtf
Is that a problem?

Tier

In fact, my conceptualization of knowledge is a lot like the way lighting itself works. Everything reflects and absorbs light - some objects a bit less, some more. So everything affects everything to some degree, gives us perspective and whatnot.
So imagine you lack reflections from a few items (normal) or you lack entire light sources. Everyone's perception ends up being distorted cause you can't have all the facts, but it should give an idea how truly distorted something can become.
Still, I generally validate people's misperceptions cause they're not entirely delusions but somewhat an adaptation to their own reality. Also helps with building rapport a lot and encourages the other person to be more open.
>>341625
>So I learns it early, but it is a different concept to comprehend.
yeah, most people aren't really aware of this I don't think. the message I got most of my childhood was "why aren't you capable of this?" so that's what I internalized, that an inability to do something is a personal fault. I believe most people think this way.
>If a robot looked like a human, talked like a human, and acted like a human, would that machine be human?
Dunno. There's quite a few things we have to consider. I would have a mostly pragmatic view on this centering on the question - what do I get out of thinking they're human and not thinking they are?
- If something is superficially the same, but differs at something fundamental: this is generally suspicious. We do not know to what extent they're truly acting like a human - an android like this could be potentially used for emotional manipulation and political propaganda because they're expendable and have programming.
This principle applies to many things, for example if a person is being nice to you while subtly overstepping your boundaries - this feels good and you may overlook the boundary violation cause they gave you something you want, but generally this is not a good look.
But, from a purely semantic standpoint... If you're asking if a robot is a human, and robot's are by current definition are not human, aren't you already differentiating them anyway?
I actually could make another, more philosophical point about this(a bit ship of theseus like and how our concepts are shaped and why), but I feel that would be a bit too much!

>>341669
>If a robot looked like a human, talked like a human, and acted like a human, would that machine be human
No, if it is a robot it is necessarily not a human as a result of its origin.
Similar to how transgender/transsexuals are necessarily not biological women.
Even if modern science allowed gender change in all biological aspects indistinguishable from biological women, they would be "Men Turned Into Women" instead of just "Women"
The naming of these categories are disjoint. Past history necessarily distinguishes type.
Leaving this out, even if robots were behaviorally similar to humans, we could not be certain that these robots have a human mind (which is not the same as being human).
There are many things we do not know about the brain and consciousness. Whether consciousness is due to quantum fluctuation and randomness (I don't know shit about this), or whether consciousness is a result of spiral patterns of connectedness of the brain, or something else.
A robot-human brain could miss a crucial aspect of this (unknown to us), which is why attempts of replication of the human mind are inherently dangerous (not talking about LLMs) due to our lack of knowledge.
Technically all human understanding has this aspect of uncertainty, but we have more knowledge about certain fields than others.
>“No shit buddy, if I was the same in every way then I would be that person”
This is very deterministic. It depends on how much randomness plays a part in decision making. It is correct that all the chemistry and biology operates with certain parameters every instant of time which creates specific sequential decision making, but it is unknown whether this is susceptible to randomness or not.
>Everyone's perception ends up being distorted cause you can't have all the facts, but it should give an idea how truly distorted something can become.
Perception itself is malleable and dictated by the brain (disregarding input).
People have different world-existence perceptions of reality. Not just of the world that they perceive but existence itself - a different world existence necessarily changes how the outside world interacts with you.
I've thought before that there exists a social-relational "field" that exists at greater level than mirror neurons, etc. Different animals and consciousnesses partake in this "field" at differing levels, and people can be attuned to one another to strive for certain goals (this is what "Charisma" is). This is not just behavior but the experience of existence as existence .

>>341682
Synchronicities might be part of this as well.
For example, neurodiverse people seem to exist in a different reality-perception "field" than neurotypical people. This is not just for autism, but also ADHD, schizophrenia, BPD, etc besides basic bitch ones like depression and anxiety.
I'm not sure how mirror neurons can explain this fully (the existence of difference from the norm is also not enough to explain this attunement).

>>341683
I've also had thoughts that thought patterns across individuals affect each other without direct personal interaction. Maybe through quantum entanglement or something, idk
I'm not sure if its a coincidence if two people think about each other at the same time,
or if dreams are partly a result of this interplay.

>>341684
Regarding humans, behavior, art, speech, etc. are an exact snapshot and reflection of someone's mind.

I've had my "world perception experience' change from one instant to another as a result of mental illness.
I've experienced my current reality as a reflection (or at least the perception of this reflection) of who I was 10 years ago. Not in the literal chronological or biological makeup, but in the ""world perception experience'" sense. People also seemed to act differently towards me and I they acted like I was younger than I actually was.
I experienced different realty-perception "fields" at different times - where at different times I was attuned to people differently.
Though this aspect might be a reflection of mental illness; my thoughts directly reflected and shaped reality. I had the thought that someone was a javascript programmer and as result they moved a very particular way. Another time this person visually looked like a completely different person, disobeying my earlier thought and perception (which I suppose was the "false" one, though what makes one perception "false" and one "real").

>>341686
Their eyes were brilliantly blue like a lantern, and then later were not (in the same lighting, etc).

Existence literally felt like a dialectic between my thoughts and reality.
I felt like I literally experienced the "World-spirit" of Hegel.
It was a pretty cool experience in understanding how different the world can be, but I would not want to experience it again because it broke my brain for a time (figuratively, not literally).

Concurrently I also had trees yell at me, hearing voices, whispering, visual hallucinations, felt God communicating with me.
it was kc tier

>>341683
>For example, neurodiverse people seem to exist in a different reality-perception "field" than neurotypical people.
That seems so. I remember reading someone's anecdote about their husband. She talked about how the husband gravitated towards "fun" people. Turned out he has ADHD and the "fun" people were on the autism spectrum or had ADHD themselves.
>>341686
Yeah I feel like I also can feel my "reality-perception" changing occasionally.
The most glaring example is when I'm stressed vs normal. When I'm stressed I actually say schizophrenic-tier observations and have a hard time expressing myself any other way cause I get kinda out of my depth. I obsess over odd things, conspiracy theories, odd theorizing and philosophizing. But if I'm not feeling existentially threatened then everything - social interactions, power games, just like normal people things - start to make sense naturally and I can act just like everyone else. I was shocked at how effortless this can be.
At least it made me fairly creative and open minded lol, to a hard degree.
>>341689
I wonder if philosophers that come up with ideas like that are also kinda neurodivergent, cause sometimes their ideas really resonate.