Bernd
2022-11-08 11:29:58 ⋅ 1y
No. 237974
I have a final job interview with HR in 30 minutes
already passed initial screening and 2 rounds of technical interviews but now they'll find out I'm weird and awkward
help
Bernd
2022-11-08 11:31:25 ⋅ 1y
No. 237975
You’re good. You can adapt, even pretend.
Bernd
2022-11-08 13:17:04 ⋅ 1y
No. 237985
>>237975
sometimes I pretend that life is a video game and I'm the only one alive and everyone else is an NPC
Bernd
2022-11-08 13:56:18 ⋅ 1y
No. 237992
You have already passed basically, it will be a bullshit tolerance test
They'll ask you stupid questions like "how do you see yourself in 5 years", you have to suck it up and try to answer and not rage quit.
Oh, didn't notice it was 2 hours ago. Have you failed? What kind of a job was it?
Bernd
2022-11-08 14:06:44 ⋅ 1y
No. 237999
>>237992
>"how do you see yourself in 5 years"
in the mirror you fucken retard
Bernd
2022-11-08 14:16:48 ⋅ 1y
No. 238001
>>237992
software developer
they asked me to tell them about myself and stupid shit like that, I felt like my brain fell out of my head; they said they'll call me within a week
at least it's over for now
>>237999
they asked a similar question today and that's basically what I said (without the retard part), main HR person made a really weird face and my supposed future boss laughed; but I wasn't trying to be funny
also, the boss is kind of hot
Bernd
2022-11-08 14:19:33 ⋅ 1y
No. 238002
>>238001
>the boss is kind of hot
It's a female boss r-right...?
Bernd
2022-11-08 14:24:14 ⋅ 1y
No. 238004
>>238002
no
Bernd
2022-11-08 14:30:45 ⋅ 1y
No. 238006
>>238004
Gay Polish programmer?
Bernd
2022-11-08 14:33:19 ⋅ 1y
No. 238007
>>238006
if anything I'm bisexual
Bernd
2022-11-08 14:37:45 ⋅ 1y
No. 238008
ok, in what language do you code?
Bernd
2022-11-08 14:46:02 ⋅ 1y
No. 238010
>>238008
mostly C# these days, but I have some side projects written in python
Bernd
2022-11-08 17:38:27 ⋅ 1y
No. 238049
Breathe in slowly and deeply through the nose the control your spaghetti
Bernd
2022-11-08 18:19:39 ⋅ 1y
No. 238054
Bernd
2022-11-08 19:47:50 ⋅ 1y
No. 238084
>they asked a similar question today
massive red flag. Also HR guys should be mostly silent and let the grownups (aka the codegarchs) do most of the talking.
Best codegarch job is if everybody is an autist to a certain degree and noone cares about your social deficiencies. You don't want to work for a company were people can bullshit themselves into a job.
Bernd
2022-11-08 19:56:45 ⋅ 1y
No. 238085
>>238084
Would you work for FAGMAN?
Bernd
2022-11-08 19:59:49 ⋅ 1y
No. 238088
>>238085
Yes. Money lets me forget most of my principles.
Bernd
2022-11-08 20:01:28 ⋅ 1y
No. 238089
>>238088
Sehr gut.
Bernd
2022-11-08 20:14:49 ⋅ 1y
No. 238096
>>238084
I agree and that's what I would want in a perfect world but good luck finding a company like that
Bernd
2022-11-08 20:20:41 ⋅ 1y
No. 238102
i ran away from interview this monday
Bernd
2022-11-08 20:26:51 ⋅ 1y
No. 238108
>>238102
why?
I wanted to run away too
Bernd
2022-11-08 20:35:11 ⋅ 1y
No. 238109
>>238108
the interviewer (engeneer) was busy with some shit and i was waiting for him for almost two hours, i met guy there i was working with two years ago, we had a talk about jobs and he said this place is shit, then i talked to another guy and he confirmed it, so i waited a bit more and then decided to go home
Bernd
2022-11-08 21:06:39 ⋅ 1y
No. 238117
>>238096
I never had trouble finding that. But I work in an engineering environment. Every company I worked for was founded by some autist engineer(s) and they kept that attitude. Main problem is to find a place like that that is big enough that they pay decent salaries.
Bernd
2022-11-08 21:36:58 ⋅ 1y
No. 238126
>>238109
oh man, I thought you got scared or something, but it looks like you dodged a bullet there; next time don't wait more than 15 minutes because any interviewer who is late is a clown
>>238117
I feel like IT has been ruined by people with useless degrees who found their niche in HR; it hasn't always been like this and there certainly are companies without that bullshit, but - as you said - it's hard to find ones who also pay well; also, ones without an HR department are often managed by old guys who love violating labor rights
Bernd
2022-11-28 10:57:37 ⋅ 1y
No. 240910
I start on Thursday, any tips?
Bernd
2022-11-28 12:08:55 ⋅ 1y
No. 240912
>>240910
Drink at least 2L water a day
Bernd
2022-11-28 14:21:52 ⋅ 1y
No. 240921
>>240912
I prefer drinking a cup of tea per hour
Bernd
2022-11-28 14:29:08 ⋅ 1y
No. 240922
>>240921
what kind of tea do you like?
Bernd
2022-11-28 15:14:45 ⋅ 1y
No. 240925
>>240922
I have several different but at wörk offices I have ans: lapsang souchong, yunnan green, and some yerba mate
Bernd
2022-11-28 15:15:32 ⋅ 1y
No. 240926
>>237992
>You have already passed basically,
>Have you failed?
Bernd
2022-11-28 15:26:39 ⋅ 1y
No. 240927
>>237999
This is a grammatically problematic sentence.
Bernd
2022-11-28 15:28:51 ⋅ 1y
No. 240928
>>240925
you should try white tea with fruit pieces, it's delicious
Bernd
2022-11-28 17:58:00 ⋅ 1y
No. 240938
>>240910
Be patient at first, they might not have a task for you straight away.
Ask lots of questions.
Bernd
2022-11-28 18:42:54 ⋅ 1y
No. 240951
>>240910
Don't smell bad. If you are a smoker at least wash your hands afterwards so you don't stink up the office.
I have a coworker who smashes the return button really hard like he wants to break his keyboard. It is super annoying when you sit with him in the office and want to wörk. Don't be that guy.
If you meet somebody in the corridor that you haven't met before on that day, say hello. Don't get insecure or feel attacked if somebody discovers bugs that you created. That's just how it is. You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.
Bernd
2022-11-28 18:57:11 ⋅ 1y
No. 240954
>>240910
Ask a lot of questions
Bernd
2022-11-28 19:09:33 ⋅ 1y
No. 240960
>>240951
I want to bring steamed broccoli for lunch, does that count as a bad smell?
Bernd
2022-11-28 19:17:57 ⋅ 1y
No. 240962
>>240960
Steamed broccoli is ok.
Bernd
2022-11-29 17:08:38 ⋅ 1y
No. 241100
Almost thursday...
Does your workday start at 8 AM?
Bernd
2022-11-29 17:46:52 ⋅ 1y
No. 241102
>>241100
ughhh, yes
Bernd
2022-11-29 18:39:18 ⋅ 1y
No. 241103
Bernd
2022-11-29 18:59:01 ⋅ 1y
No. 241110
>>241103
maybe I'll get eaten by a bear on my way there
Bernd
2022-11-30 18:30:47 ⋅ 1y
No. 241266
Tomorrow...
I am excited as if it's me who's getting a new job :-D
Bernd
2022-11-30 18:58:23 ⋅ 1y
No. 241271
>>241266
that's good because I'm not excited at all; not nervous either; idk, I feel nothing
I'll let you know how it goes
Bernd
2022-11-30 19:29:43 ⋅ 1y
No. 241273
>>241271
Have you already prepared the broccoli for tomorrow?
Bernd
2022-11-30 20:41:36 ⋅ 1y
No. 241281
>>241273
no because I'm not convinced it's safe for shared spaces; I'll have to come up with something though as there aren't many foods that I eat and most of them are kind of smelly
Bernd
2022-12-01 16:30:43 ⋅ 1y
No. 241429
>>241266
I survived and it actually wasn't that bad; I was mostly meeting people and waiting for the IT department to give me access to things + had health&safety training which almost put me to sleep; haven't even touched a computer
I caught the guy in the desk next to me staring from time to time and I felt weird but in the end he gave me some tips and brought me tea and was really helpful
there is 7 men and 3 women on my team (including me) and I even managed to remember all their names; most of them are married and some have kids which puts me at ease because if they have their own lives then they won't try to insert themselves into mine
the security guy treats his job extremely seriously and he's scary in an unhinged way or like a rabid dog or maybe an asylum escapee; he was my favorite part of the day
I haven't seen the hot boss from my interview today but I've met the CEO and he seems like an asshole with an overinflated sense of importance but I won't be meeting him again anytime soon so who cares; he said he likes my name (lol what)
and I've been assigned a mentor but he's currently out sick, I hope he isn't that rude guy from my second technical interview
overall everything was fine, I have some more training stuff to do before I can actually do my job, but I think I'll manage
Bernd
2022-12-01 16:51:04 ⋅ 1y
No. 241437
>>241429
>7 men and 3 women on my team
That's a lot of women. Does not sound like a serious tech job tbh.
What did you eat?
Bernd
2022-12-01 17:12:02 ⋅ 1y
No. 241440
>>241429
there are zero (0) women on my team
Bernd
2022-12-01 17:14:14 ⋅ 1y
No. 241441
Bernd
2022-12-01 17:22:52 ⋅ 1y
No. 241446
Did they lecture you a brief history of the company "our company was founded in the year 1992 by Filip Bartek bla bla blee bla"?
Bernd
2022-12-01 17:24:02 ⋅ 1y
No. 241447
Bernd
2022-12-01 17:38:38 ⋅ 1y
No. 241448
>>241446
a guy told me that CEO once came in and started quizzing people on their knowledge of company's history; pretty bizarre
Bernd
2022-12-01 17:54:04 ⋅ 1y
No. 241451
>>241440
I know one female developer in an adjacent team. She is not even bad but she is on sick leave all the time. She even calls in sick if one of her children is sick. It's crazy how much time you can have off this way.
>>241441
You will rarely find a really good female developer. It's statistics dude. You saying that the security guy is unhinged, the interview guy is rude, and the CEO some kind of psychopath does not really make the job appear any better.
Bernd
2022-12-01 18:02:10 ⋅ 1y
No. 241452
>>241451
statistics pulled right out of your ass, you mean; I would say something else but I feel like I'd be wasting my breath here
Bernd
2022-12-01 18:18:05 ⋅ 1y
No. 241458
Do they have an option to work remotely?
Bernd
2022-12-01 18:20:01 ⋅ 1y
No. 241460
>>241458
Hi Anne how is life?
Bernd
2022-12-01 18:40:36 ⋅ 1y
No. 241461
>>241458
yeah, the plan is to do 80% remotely, but for the first month they want me in the office; I don't really mind since I've spent the last two years fully remote and it's not as great as it seems
Bernd
2022-12-01 18:46:42 ⋅ 1y
No. 241463
>>241452
Don't be mad polefren. You are reacting very emotional to a simple fact. Are you on your period?
Bernd
2022-12-01 20:31:17 ⋅ 1y
No. 241472
>>241463
could've asked me if I'm on my period; what a wasted opportunity
Bernd
2022-12-01 20:44:42 ⋅ 1y
No. 241476
>>241472
But I asked this.
Bernd
2022-12-01 20:57:01 ⋅ 1y
No. 241478
>>241476
your sneaky edits don't count, pumpkin
Bernd
2022-12-01 21:08:09 ⋅ 1y
No. 241479
>>241478
I'm just dealing with your criticism in a constructive manner. You should appreciate this.
Bernd
2022-12-01 21:30:06 ⋅ 1y
No. 241482
A girl.... AND a coder? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
Bernd
2022-12-01 21:39:31 ⋅ 1y
No. 241484
>>241479
what else would you like to be appreciated for?
Bernd
2022-12-01 21:42:26 ⋅ 1y
No. 241485
>>241484
Visit me in germany, honey, then you will experience and appreciate me for my p [spoiler]rogramming skills[/spoiler]
Bernd
2022-12-01 22:11:19 ⋅ 1y
No. 241491
>>241485
only if you have some pull requests for me to merge
Bernd
2022-12-01 22:29:46 ⋅ 1y
No. 241494
>>241491
Babe, I would assign some tickets to you that will blow your mind. After a single sprint with me you can't walk for days.
Bernd
2022-12-02 12:03:35 ⋅ 1y
No. 241530
>>241491
I can show you design patterns that will make your c [spoiler]ode[/spoiler] SOLID as a rock.
Bernd
2022-12-02 15:33:06 ⋅ 1y
No. 241546
>>241494
you certainly seem eager to fill up my backlog
Bernd
2022-12-02 18:48:30 ⋅ 1y
No. 241554
Whatcha developing?
Bernd
2022-12-02 18:50:35 ⋅ 1y
No. 241555
Bernd
2022-12-09 15:59:53 ⋅ 1y
No. 242301
>>241554
I'll be adding new features to a system for a client (won't say more because I'm paranoid)
this week my mentor-dude (who actually turned out to be okay, so idk what his deal was during the interview) had me sitting in on a lot of meetings with said client; I've also been reading docs and setting stuff up & attended some more training; still haven't written a single line of code
one thing that I've noticed is they (or should I say "we"?) need more staff, because some people complain they have too many tasks; if that's true and they have me working overtime too often then I'll quit after a year; we'll see, either way I wanted to add this company to my resume
everyone is nice and no one has given me shit for not being sociable
I wanted to eat my food in the kitchen annex and doubled back because I heard people in there; happened twice this week; I don't know why I'm writing this, maybe some Bernd will relate (or make fun of me, I don't mind)
scary security guy actually smiled at me yesterday
tea-guy is still staring but when I look back he looks away
that's it
Bernd
2022-12-09 16:09:39 ⋅ 1y
No. 242304
>>242301
>one thing that I've noticed is they (or should I say "we"?) need more staff, because some people complain they have too many tasks;
That's literally every codegarch job. The secret is to not get stressed about it. It's the managers job to prioritize properly and to take the blame if he doesn't do it properly. It's not your problem and they can't expect you to work overtime for bad planning. If you start to get stressed about deadlines and stuff you'll just make errors that will bite you in the arse later. No release is and will ever be bug free and there will always be a next release for the feature/fixes.
Bernd
2022-12-09 17:00:11 ⋅ 1y
No. 242311
>>242304
guess you're right; I can always quote labor law if the manager tries to pull a fast one on me
Bernd
2022-12-09 17:17:29 ⋅ 1y
No. 242315
So you are doing outsource work then?
What kind of project planning approach does your company use (if any)?
Bernd
2022-12-09 17:34:30 ⋅ 1y
No. 242316
>>242315
I work directly for the company that hired me, but some stuff is outsourced to a third party; we're using scrum
Bernd
2022-12-09 18:55:02 ⋅ 1y
No. 242326
>>242316
In scrum you estimate yourself how much time you require for a ticket and hence how many tickets you can manage in ans sprint. How is it possible for them to give you too much work
Bernd
2022-12-09 19:02:54 ⋅ 1y
No. 242327
We have introduced our own time management system today:
- 8-10 work days per task
- 2 hours per day of unregulated activity (urgent bug fixes or meetings or whatever)
- 1 day of unregulated activity after a task completed,
- unlimited time for research when needed.
Pretty sweet innit?
Bernd
2022-12-09 19:09:20 ⋅ 1y
No. 242328
Bernd
2022-12-09 19:11:14 ⋅ 1y
No. 242330
>>242328
what do u mean?
Bernd
2022-12-09 19:24:15 ⋅ 1y
No. 242332
>>242327
>-unregulated activity
>Pretty sweet innit?
I work completely unregulated. We don't have to book time on tickets at all. Also we don't estimate times for tickets.
I recently had a ticket that I worked on for over a year along with the typical stuff on the side. I booked 1000 hours on it just for the fun of it. I typically just get the responsibility to work on a feature myself. I don't know if this is better than you, though. Especially that 1000h ticket was too big for a single person and I would have hoped that the managers would have contributed something themselves.
Bernd
2022-12-09 19:28:30 ⋅ 1y
No. 242333
>>242332
>completely unregulated.
>we don't estimate times for tickets.
Why u no into planned economy how Rushka says? You don't know its road for success?
Bernd
2022-12-09 19:40:13 ⋅ 1y
No. 242336
>>242332
We have lots of people on several different teams and strict deadlines to meet, this will never work.
Good on you, I think you're lucky.
Bernd
2022-12-10 07:41:02 ⋅ 1y
No. 242402
>>242301
> tea-guy is still staring but when I look back he looks away
tea was poisoned
Bernd
2022-12-10 09:31:56 ⋅ 1y
No. 242421
>>242402
how would [i]you[/i] know? unless...
Bernd
2022-12-10 12:54:03 ⋅ 1y
No. 242481
>>242301
>I wanted to eat my food in the kitchen annex and doubled back because I heard people in there;
I know that feel. Sometimes when I make my way to the covfefe machine and see someone there I turn back 360° and go to the other kitchen so I can avoid the awkward silence while waiting to fill up my cup. Also when I want to use the elevator and someone is already in front of it I just go to the toilet for some time in hopes that I can use the elevator alone when I'm finished.
Bernd
2022-12-10 13:12:08 ⋅ 1y
No. 242486
>>242481
> go to the other kitchen so I can avoid the awkward silence while waiting to fill up my cup
do you think the other person also feels the awkwardness?
Bernd
2022-12-10 13:14:52 ⋅ 1y
No. 242487
>>242486
I do think so. Most of my coworkers are socially inept nerds as well.
Bernd
2022-12-10 15:52:53 ⋅ 1y
No. 242525
>>242421
I work for the government and an expert on, let's say, certain substances.
Bernd
2022-12-10 16:07:23 ⋅ 1y
No. 242528
>>242525
is by any chance one of those substances polonium-210?
Bernd
2022-12-19 15:18:36 ⋅ 1y
No. 244318
tea guy was in today and HE'S STILL FUCKING STARING
Bernd
2022-12-19 15:27:48 ⋅ 1y
No. 244319
>>244318
>Hot girl problems
Don’t blame him. He is probably imagining your future together.
Bernd
2022-12-19 15:42:51 ⋅ 1y
No. 244320
>>244319
I'm pretty sure his future is all set with his wife and kid
Bernd
2022-12-19 15:48:07 ⋅ 1y
No. 244323
>>244320
There is nothing wrong in looking at beautiful things.
Bernd
2022-12-19 16:04:46 ⋅ 1y
No. 244328
>>244323
omg Bernd, you can't just say that
Bernd
2022-12-19 16:23:14 ⋅ 1y
No. 244332
>>244328
Snufkin likes to look at beautiful things and store them in his memory. That way they are always with him.
Bernd
2022-12-19 17:50:06 ⋅ 1y
No. 244353
Colleagues want me to rename a variable because they don't know that "left" also means "remaining".
Bernd
2022-12-19 18:40:48 ⋅ 1y
No. 244364
My manager and my project leader got into their positions by building a prototype full of technical debt and bringing it onto the market. Now they are too important to fix their shit and a I have to suffer with it.
Bernd
2022-12-19 18:50:13 ⋅ 1y
No. 244365
>>244364
Rightfully so!
They've created value. They basically brought in the money you are feeding on now. What are you even doing all day, where are new features? Client stories are piling up, why are you re-doing their brilliant work?
My condolences. How far gone is it?
Bernd
2022-12-19 18:53:49 ⋅ 1y
No. 244366
>>244364
Lel, sounds like the project I received best wagie of the year prize for.
Bernd
2022-12-19 18:55:32 ⋅ 1y
No. 244367
>>244366
proofs
Bernd
2022-12-19 19:14:56 ⋅ 1y
No. 244368
>>244364
I bet it will never be fixed
Bernd
2022-12-19 19:16:55 ⋅ 1y
No. 244370
>>244365
I could get it fixed in ~2 years with some help but I already suffered a lot last year and I don't think that I'm willing to do it, myself. Also first I would have to beg to get the time to even fix everything myself. Talked to the manager and he want the team leader to fix it himself. But I already wrote a lot of tickets for him over a year ago and he did none of them. Also I doubt that he is even capable of writing maintainable c# code, himself. I have never seen worse code than his.
I don't want to change companies, because the company itself is really good. I could maybe change departments but then I have to go through all the effort to get to know all the shit that other department has produced.
Bernd
2022-12-19 19:22:30 ⋅ 1y
No. 244371
>>244370
Is is Gonsky. Your only hope there is to become a manager yourself.
Bernd
2022-12-19 19:26:05 ⋅ 1y
No. 244372
>>244370
literally everywhere you go will be full of tech debnt. if you're in a company you like then stay there
Bernd
2022-12-19 19:30:30 ⋅ 1y
No. 244375
>>244371
It does not work like that. The project already produced one manager and one project leader last year. It takes quite a bit of growing until it could create more leader positions.
>>244372
Probably. I might just go into low effort mode and stay away from the terrible parts. I just wish I could happily program against.
Bernd
2022-12-28 17:03:50 ⋅ 1y
No. 245649
Programming is gay.
Bernd
2022-12-28 17:39:08 ⋅ 1y
No. 245658
I started eating breakfasts in the kitchen annex but then a guy from another department noticed I do it every day at the same time and he started joining me; he kept talking to me and asking questions and I was so flabbergasted by him being nice that I went back to eating by my desk; it's a good thing I'll be mostly remote next month; also, tea guy changed his schedule so he'll be at the office the same time as me
>>245649
I guess you do a lot of programming then
Bernd
2022-12-28 17:58:29 ⋅ 1y
No. 245660
>>245658
Why don't you try to befriend them?
Causing such positive reactions in other people is something most Bernds could only dream of.
Bernd
2022-12-28 18:07:57 ⋅ 1y
No. 245662
>>245658
I'm re-writing tests at the moment. PM didn't like them.
Gotta do it at the evening because I held a meeting today explaining a complicated system to a group a colleagues for an hour.
Bernd
2022-12-28 18:11:34 ⋅ 1y
No. 245663
>>245662
Maybe if you wouldn't have made your system that complicated you wouldn't have to spend time explaining it to other people. Have you thought about that?
Bernd
2022-12-28 18:15:45 ⋅ 1y
No. 245665
>>245663
Yes, hundreds of times when I was developing it. The evil PM made me make it complicated for performance reasons.
We really love performance here in the C++ realm
Bernd
2022-12-28 18:57:52 ⋅ 1y
No. 245674
>>245665
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7wLYzRJt3s
Bernd
2022-12-28 18:58:03 ⋅ 1y
No. 245675
>>245660
I won't befriend tea guy because he's just staring and it makes me feel weird; as for the other guy - why would he want to be friends with me? it's not that I think I don't deserve kindness, but he doesn't know me and what reason could he possibly have to go out of his way to be nice to me? we don't even work on the same things so it's not like I can help him with stuff; I don't know, I'm a weirdo and I have issues; also, friends require time and energy and you need to make accommodations in your life for them and I don't want to do that
>>245662
please tell me they pay you for overtime or let you take some hours off later
>>245665
C++ it's basically C + gayness, but it's not the gayest of languages
Bernd
2022-12-28 19:13:42 ⋅ 1y
No. 245679
>>245674
Correct, yes.
Bernd
2022-12-28 19:25:11 ⋅ 1y
No. 245680
>>245675
>why would he want to be friends with me?
Because it is good to have frens in the company that you work for. Being with a fren makes the time spent there more enjoyable.
>It's not that I think I don't deserve kindness
Sound more like the other way around. In your eyes he does not deserve your kindness so you try to avoid him. But I get it that it might get kind of annoying when everybody tries to get into your pants all the time. Still it is complaining on a bretty high level.
Bernd
2022-12-28 20:38:59 ⋅ 1y
No. 245690
>>245680
I'm doing him a kindness by leaving him alone, believe me; and I am flattered by your assessment, but no one is trying to get into my pants
Bernd
2022-12-29 08:59:09 ⋅ 1y
No. 245779
>>245690
Then why do people stare at you or try to be nice to you? Out of pity?
Bernd
2022-12-29 15:19:48 ⋅ 1y
No. 245812
>>245779
why wouldn't they be nice? no one wants to foster conflict or hostility at work
Bernd
2022-12-29 17:00:23 ⋅ 1y
No. 245826
>>245812
But people starting to change their schedules just to be with you seems a little excessive, don't you think? In my experience you have a very short time window when you meet people for the first time in which you must establish that you are sociable. Otherwise you will get ignored immediately. There must be something special about you.
Btw how much do you earn as a codegarch on the poland?
Bernd
2022-12-29 17:44:46 ⋅ 1y
No. 245832
>>245826
that's just one person and I don't think he's completely normal so we probably shouldn't draw any conclusions based on his behavior; btw today he was staring again while I was eating to I took my things to the annex and then got stuck listening to my boss' overly long rant about people getting summoned for military exercises by the army; my breakfast buddy stuck his head inside for a second, smiled and then disappeared
I'm not special, but I am very laid back so maybe I seem likeable and I'm new there so it's exciting for them, idk; I also heard that I look scared (I'm not, that's just my face) so maybe they feel bad for me
I'm making 8k PLN now, and that's with under 2 years of experience
oh and by the way, I'm not sociable and I don't want friends, why is that weird
Bernd
2022-12-30 10:45:00 ⋅ 1y
No. 245959
>>245832
You also complained in another thread about some shithole cunt that the people there were always staring at you. So that means there is something worth staring at.
It is fine. Keep your secrets. But be aware that I'll keep my eyes on. Always.
>oh and by the way, I'm not sociable and I don't want friends, why is that weird
and yet you visit ans imageboard daily to interact with other loners. The bane of bernd is that he craves for social interaction yet hates it at the same time.
Bernd
2022-12-30 11:47:39 ⋅ 1y
No. 245963
>>245660
I have had people do similar things to me, try to befriend me during lunch at work or at company events, and I always distance myself too.
Honestly it is just exhausting to talk to people, so if there isn't anything tangible that I'm going to get out of it, it isn't worth the effort to me.
I'm just not interested in talking to dudes irl. The only way I would ever be social is if it was with an attractive female and there was an extremely high chance of having sex.
Bernd
2022-12-30 11:56:14 ⋅ 1y
No. 245964
>>245963
Why is it exhausting?
Bernd
2022-12-30 12:14:16 ⋅ 1y
No. 245966
>>245964
That I couldn't tell you definitely.
I'm sure you're aware of the old observation that "extroverts gain energy from conversation, introverts expend energy in conversation" but it really doesn't answer why.
There's also the more controversial observation that "introverts are just failed extroverts" and I suspect that might have something to do with it.
When it comes to online, text-based conversation, I find it stimulating and something I voluntarily do as leisure. I find the written word to be a clarifying way to organize my thoughts and a rewarding way to express them.
When it comes to the spoken word, irl sociability, it's the complete opposite. I find it jumbled, confusing, overwhelming, unsatisfying, and usually accompanied by lots of negative emotions.
I think maybe the reason introverts feel that socializing drains their energy is because there is an underlying current of personal shame that they are always defending against or trying to conceal and that vigilance drains them. That's my theory.
Bernd
2022-12-30 12:39:45 ⋅ 1y
No. 245970
>>245966
I believe this is usually only the case if you don't know the person that you are talking to very well. In case of your colleagues you would get eventually used to them and stop caring or possibly even enjoy it if you went with them for lunch. If you avoid them at all costs you will never reach that state.
Especially at work I found that I suffer more from trying to avoid contact with other people than stop thinking about it and just getting it over with.
Bernd
2022-12-30 13:04:52 ⋅ 1y
No. 245975
>>245966
>feel that socializing drains their energy
I think another factor is that the favourit topic for most people is their personal life and it requires a certain amount of interest in their life to engage in discussion with that person.
I think many interoverts simply don't take interest in the life of other people, so entry into a discussion with a stranger becomes really hard.
Though I think that's only a partial aspect.
Bernd
2022-12-30 15:29:48 ⋅ 1y
No. 245993
>>245959
go ahead, I'm very good at intense eye contact
> and yet you visit ans imageboard daily to interact with other loners. The bane of bernd is that he craves for social interaction yet hates it at the same time.
does it count as a social interaction if I'm doing it while sitting at home alone? and if I'm tired of it then I can just close tab? you can't do that irl; besides, Bernds are relatable and they understand; also, it doesn't hurt that no one knows who I am so I can say whatever I want and no one will think less of me
>>245966
don't know about the shame part, but being sociable really is draining; guess our brains are wired differently and not in a way society favors
>>245975
that's true; to make friends with someone you have to care, and it has to be genuine
Bernd
2022-12-31 00:41:50 ⋅ 1y
No. 246103
>>245970
In internet years, I'm an old man now (mid 30s).
The older I get, the less novelty there is for me in the world.
Novelty is what gives life its vivacity, it's what forms the substance of our memories, it is the ether within which our spirits move. We seek it and crave it, without it we die, time begins to flow faster, we accelerate towards our death, towards the great final novelty. And I mean real novelty, not sampling "delightful burned chicken ass" in Taiwan. Novelty cannot be consumed. It is too bright, it hurts too much, it scars us, it burdens us. It scrapes away pieces of us until nothing is left. This is the reason all memories are sad. Sad memories are sad, but happy memories are sad too in a way, because they remind us of the pieces of ourselves that have been lost. Novelty is our lifeblood yet it contains within it the seeds of our own nemesis and our own undoing, for each touch with it ages us, like flying too close to the sun/god/burning bush. That's our curse as mere mortals, we have a limited capacity for it before we are burned away.
In the absence of novelty, I no longer see magical instances and divine phenomena but rather patterns of repetition. How much magic is there in the world for the clear eyes of a child? How much romance is there in the world for the overflowing heart of an adolescent? How much adventure is there for the grandiose mind of a young man?
A person who was so interesting to me in my teens now I recognize as just a manifestation of a type. And I see this type and that type everywhere. And they all say the same things, wear the same expressions, cry the same tears, laugh the same laugh. Nietzsche would say that although he has heard the same laugh from a thousand different throats, it's still the most beautiful laugh he has ever heard. I just can't commit to that level of masculine virility, I've already waned, I already have one foot out the door.
Love is an obsession with a person. But what happens when people no longer exist? There's nothing left to love. And without love, without passion, there's nothing in this world to believe in, thus no reason to engage with it. Even if it were mechanistically possible for me to become more comfortable, there's still no payoff in doing so. I can't fall in love.
So as you can see, my problem really is that I love people too much and too seriously, and that's why I don't talk to them.
Well, that's how I feel. I've contradicted myself enough for one post. Maybe one day I will realize I am full of shit, but I think not.
Here are the words of your second-greatest countryman on a theme not exactly the same but closely related -
The pain of life that haunts our narrow way
I cannot shed with this or that attire
Too old am I to be content with play
Too young to live untroubled by desire
What comfort can the shallow world bestow?
Renunciation! - Learn, man, to forego!
This is the lasting theme of themes
That soon or late will show its power
The tune that lurks in all our dreams
And the hoarse whisper of each hour
Yet each new day I shudder when I wake
With bitter tears to look upon the sun
Knowing that in the journey he will make
None of my longings will come true, not one.
To see the tendrils of my joys that start,
Cankered with doubts, the mind's self-conscious tares
To feel creation stir a generous heart
Only to fail before life's mocking cares
And when soft night has shrouded all the West
My anxious soul will beg her peace supreme
But still I lie forsaken, for my rest
Is shattered by the wildness that I dream
The god who dwells enthroned within my breast
Can stir my inner vision's deepest springs
But he who binds my strength to his behest
Brings no command to sway external things.
Thus life has taught me, with its weary weight,
To long for death, and the dear light to hate.
- Faust to Mephistopheles, from Goethe's Faust
Bernd
2022-12-31 10:26:01 ⋅ 1y
No. 246134
>>246103
If you would see the world as clearly as you describe you wouldn't feel uncomfortable interacting with other people. The only thing that makes you feel uncomfortable is your inability to control how other people perceive you. These insecurities make you overthink everything you do and make your interactions so exhausting. You just got comfortable in your own bubble and now look for excuses not to leave it.
>And without love, without passion, there's nothing in this world to believe in
This might have sounded nice while you wrote it but is just meaningless melancholic bullshit. I hate philosophers for posts as yours. Since you fear that your statements would sound too simple if you just wrote them down as they are you have to hide everything behind a facade of complicated words and strange analogies.
Bernd
2022-12-31 18:13:09 ⋅ 1y
No. 246277
>>246134
Fair enough, I will take my leave of you. I don't wish to burden you with hate. I should say that you haven't exactly shown me the value of other people.
If anything, your post seems like a massive reinforcement of mine, in an ironic way. I'm not sure you are able to perceive that.
Bernd
2023-01-02 15:41:13 ⋅ 1y
No. 246897
is there a more demoralizing humiliation ritual than a job interview? you are basically admitting to being broke and begging at the feet of some HR roastie to throw nickels at your feet while you tapdance for your supper
Bernd
2023-01-02 16:06:21 ⋅ 1y
No. 246907
>>246897
my visit in the occupational medicine physician's office was way more humiliating than that interview; but maybe that's because the doctor was rude and borderline inappropriate
also, I imagine that getting summoned to a military office is more humiliating because from what I've hear they make you strip to your undies and check if you're fit enough to become cannon fodder, it's like you're cattle or something
Bernd
2023-01-02 16:16:19 ⋅ 1y
No. 246915
>>246897
>you are basically admitting to being broke
Uhh, you're supposed to pretend you can get a much better paying job somewhere else.
>and begging at the feet of some HR roastie
The only job interviews I ever had (I had 100% hiring rate so far btw) were with the team/department boss. No HR involved.
Bernd
2023-01-02 18:37:37 ⋅ 1y
No. 246968
>>246897
That only applies for your first job. When you alreay have a job and apply for a better one it is way more relaxed.
Even if you just got your first job rationally you should apply for another one at once because you will get way better conditions if you apply from a position in which you already have a job.
Bernd
2023-01-02 18:47:50 ⋅ 1y
No. 246972
>>246907
What? You have to go to the doctor to get a codegarch job in Poland? What did they check for?
> I imagine that getting summoned to a military office is more humiliating
In my case the doctor was an older female and she touched my balls to check for testicular cancer. This was a first for me that a female touched my balls so it was kind of nice.
Bernd
2023-01-02 19:03:49 ⋅ 1y
No. 246975
>>246972
yeah, but that's for everyone, they just check different things depending on the job description; if you work with computers for more than 4 hours per day then they give you an eye exam and that's it; there's also a short interview with another doctor who basically just checks the results from the eye doc and gives you the stamp of approval; my doctor turned out to be an older lady who asked bunch of weird question about my reproductive health which has nothing to do with my job, go figure; then you have a mandatory exam every 5 years
I'm glad it was nice and not humiliating; were her hands warm?
Bernd
2023-01-02 19:17:14 ⋅ 1y
No. 246980
>>246975
sounds pretty useless but ok.
>were her hands warm?
Hard to remember it was more than 10 years ago. The only thing I can remember is that I could feel that she wore gloves. So it wasn't skin to skin contact which lessened the ball touching experience. Also I was preoccupied the whole time witch how I could appear more unhealthy than I was since I didn't want to go to the military.
In the end I didn't have to go because I have a low count of white blood cells in my blood.
Bernd
2023-01-02 20:35:47 ⋅ 1y
No. 247005
>>246980
what was your plan for looking unfit for the military? has your blood improved since then?
Bernd
2023-01-02 20:42:53 ⋅ 1y
No. 247007
>>247005
When she looked at my back and told me to lean over I acted like my back hurts badly. I have bretty bad scoliosis so I thought that if I acted like my back was already ruined i would be unfit. But it didn't end up in the final report so I did nothing. Blood has been like this always. It is genetic. But it does not do anything to my overall health so whatever.
In the end I don't know if it wouldn't have been good to go to the military for ans year. Most people I talked to didn't regret it.
Bernd
2023-01-02 23:44:07 ⋅ 1y
No. 247058
> interview with HR
I hope the salary is worth it