Since a girl i'm obssesed with told me that one of her friends that's a cop let her hold his gun i got very frustrated because im an awkward, weirdo, autistic, scaredy cat, NEET, insecure, introverted weakling, people often make fun of me because of my face so i don't make eye contact, my dads treat me like a kid and i don't fucking like it, all i want is to be with her again and i can't because i have to wait 2 months after they call me for work in her city

 

I'm planning to join the air force as a recruit, if i do so i will be barracked on a base of her city, a place to stay and a monthly payment of 246 dollars i can spend with her, what do you think? I will be training to resist any punishment and misstreat they will give me there, but im nervous about getting injured, bullied or collapsing, i really need help