uhiuh

Extremely cringe

I was full Bernd, handheldless, kissless virgin well into my mid twenties. I know no sex can be depressing, but being single and adult is best you can get. I wish I was single again.

You can easily be single again if you really wanted to.

 

I am also in my mid twenties and finally managed to lose my V-card a while ago and stack some XP.

Now after another year of working on myself, I am uncertain whether I should go and try to find a gf or just comtinue working on myself.

 

I really don't know what will make me happier.

What did you do exactly?

I don't understand your question.

That's so sad ;w;

You said you worked on yourself. How?

Ah, I stopped being sad and depressed all day and instead started to practise guitar in literally all my free time because I did not know what to do with my life, I was sure that the time that way is less wasted than if I just watched netflix.

 

Soon I'd start smoking weed and it would help me a lot to slowly learn how to socialise. A year later I started to also study hard and didn't play guitar 8h/day anymore. I also started to eat healthier food and went from somewhat chubby to normal.

During my last year of my Ausbildung, I was the best at my work, (boss trusted me more than any other Azubi), my other group members being less intelligent than me definitely helped a lot, but they were all my friends, they looked up to me, came to me for help and we had a great times together.

 

And yeah, then it just happened. The only woman at my workplace, a cute half turkish gril with beautiful curly hair and big tiddies fell in love with me. When I took her to some of the secret spots where I'd practise guitar at night and be high, she'd just proceed to fuck me.

 

So yeah, at that point I realised what it really takes to get women to like you. Work hard, be nice, be respected by others.

 

 

Now I am at uni, going to the gym since one year, seeing some results, and learning Mandarin Chinese (I'll take HSK6 this december) and I still work as a codemonkey as a side job.

I also really want to get into fashion a bit more and I am considering to get my eyes lasered so I don't have to walk around with glasses anymore.

 

 

But to have time for all this, I basically reduced my friends to zero, I am alone all day, my only friend is my weed which can cover up the loneliness.

I don't know what is the best for my future. Continue the hard improvement mode, or just let go and go back to people. I think it is still too early, but at some point I will have to do it, I just don't know when.

 

 

 

My ultimate goal for my thirties is not to hope to be chosen by a woman, but to be as desirable as possible so I get to choose too.

So she asked you out?

no but eventually she just came over to my place all the time and started talking to me

in the end it was still me who proposed to do a bicycle tour to my secret spots and when I got her too high by accident she got horny and that's how I lost my V

We need details

it's not really interesting, that one line sums it up pretty well

I want detailed, intricate descriptions of your first sexual encounter

Ew, why would you want that?

So we were sitting on at the place marked in picrel, there is a bench under an oak tree, we got there around midnight.

We just got to know each other, it's been like a week since she started coming to me during work all the time, and I was like that oblivious anime main character that could fuck all the bitches but is too dumb to make a move?

So yeah during that time I ofc wanted to lose the V and I for sure was Bernding around online about it too sometimes because I was already 23 and I had kind of given up on it to happen anytime soon, basically I would have never ever thought that the girl that is on the back of my bike right now would be riding my dick in a few hours, and that's how I behaved.

 

We just talked, had a good time, and when I started to roll and smoke a joint she was like, hmm, I want too! I told her after two tokes that she might just want to wait for how it will feel, but she said she knows what she is doing.

I was surprised and asked whether she had smokes weed before and she said yes. So who am I not to believe her and let her smoke more?

Anyway, 5 minutes later she was stoned so badly that she was basically on a bad trip. I don't know if you have ever been too high, but if you have, then you know how she felt back then.

 

At first we had good talks and laughed our asses off about how she couldn't walk straight lines anymore but soon she'd just sit down on the bench, leaning on me, and waiting the about an hour to sober up a bit. She apologised to me because we had to sit there for so long and couldn't go home because of her, I told her it's cool don't worry, and played some guitar while she was half asleep and stoned.

 

An hour later she'd be at senses again and we'd look each other in the eyes, she was still very close to me, and I was like fuck it now or never and I kissed her, she accepted the kiss, and after we'd been close for another few minutes she just did it. I was sitting on the bench, she climbed up on my lap, we kissed again, laughed, my dick got hard, she smiled, opened up my pants and started sucking it.

I was having a little mental bluescreen right there, because I had to process that all my former Bernd tier thoughts of never ever losing the V were suddenly - poof - just gone.

Soon she'd process to put off her pants and ride on my hard dick. Oh do I tell you did that feel great, after all that sucking, I came in like 10 seconds of her moving.

I was a little embarrassed there, didn't know what to do, pretty sure I said something like "Ooops", but she seemed to be happy and content that I was so aroused by her.

 

After my inner bluescreen was fixed and I could think clearly again, I thought what to do next. Should I tell her that it was my first time putting benis in vagina or not?

I came to the conclusion that no is the right way because for my next steps it was important to get XP in fucking therefore I needed to keep her liking me. Why give her a possibly bad new information about me that wasn't even important to her before?

 

After I got her home, we fucked again, and for the next two months until I'd move to another city I'd often go to her place to hang out, smoke weed and have sex.

The keys to pleasure a woman, what I found, are a good foreplay (basically just being close, hugging, kissing, maybe scratching, still chatting/laughing with each other, I enjoy this part the most anyway so that's easy for me) and then once it comes to put your dick in, you completely win if you can bang her as long as it takes until she comes.

 

My dick is bent a little bit upwards, so for example in the missionary position, I feel a lot of sexual pleasure while in others, like doggy style, it doesn't arouse me at all, especially when I move quickly. So ever since one easy way to make women think in fucking is just penetrating them doggy style and move as fast as I can. Bitches love it. You can even use your hands to hold them tightly, pull their hair or slap their ass cheeks.

 

Since everyone's dick is made differently, I think each man should his their own poses where it is easier to not cum then in others. Key in becoming good at satisfying women sexually might really just be to find these positions for oneself and abuse them.

Sounds very counter intuitive. Having frens and a big social circle is the prime requirement to get women. First in order to meet them in a casual environment and in order to show them that you are respected by others as you say.

 

If anything you need to build a big social circle before your 30's because afterwards your social circle will only shrink as people start families and occupying themselves with reproducing. This is nothing you should put off.

 

t. I'm in no way qualified to give advice on this matter

this is now, two years later

Yes I understood that. My point was that this is exactly the opposite of what you should strive for. And what you wrote backs me up in that.

i'm glad you understand the struggle

 

If I want gf now, I have to become social again.

But I could as well just keep working on myself and not waste time on others and get a gf again later.

I do not want just any woman.

 

Maybe life is like chess, you have to make each move without regret, but before setting up a final attack, you have to get your pieces ready.

What exactly are you working on and how do you think that it will improve your attractiveness towards potential gfs?

I like intelligent women so I work on my intelligence and overall success

You either are intelligent or you are not. It is nothing to acquire.

If you like a woman that likes to do stuff that requires her brain, you can do stuff that requires your brain as well and maybe do it together. There is nothing to acquire here either. It is an activity that you do on the side. Telling to yourself that you have to wait for a certain point until you can start doing it is rationalizing your fear of doing it imho.

 

I believe that people that had similar experiences in their past vibe best with each other. If you spend your 20's as a loner a female that has spent her 20's as a loner herself is most attracted to your and vice versa. But this market is tiny. You only sabotage yourself if you willingly go that route.

But it is just the last year that I spent almost alone?

I get your point, but don't you think, that the more success you have as a men, the better women you can attract?

 

For example, more beautiful women willingly talk to me since I got buff from lifting.

Why should this be any different with success? I like self confident, successful people, that have goals they are striving for.

 

Obviously this is just my impression, but I think these things are even more rare in women than in men.

 

So in order to be able to get a nice partner, I might as well just sacrifice another few years of my twenties on self improvement.

 

 

Are there any problems with this logic?

The longer you look for a girlfriend and the more potential girlfriends you meet the more successful you are. At the end this is a numbers game.

Also the better you are socially and the more you get into social situations the more women you meet and the more successful they will see you. And the longer you wait the more good girls have already been picked out of the market.

 

Do you really want someone that just wants to be with you for your muscles, or your money, or just because you can speak chinese fluently?

Also I wouldn't primarily select for beautiful women. After 40 and after they pressed out a couple of kids most women don't look that great anymore and then you still have to spend time with them for 30 years or more. At the end it just matters how good you fit to your partner. And the person that fits to you now will also fit to you once you are super successful and vice versa.

 

But I dramatize. It doesn't matter how you spend a year or two no matter what you do in the big context.

There is like endless supply though.

 

No. I do these things for myself because it feels great. It's like I can't help but doing it. I am genuinely happy right now. What I want is someone who is like that too.

 

I kind of treat life like an RPG where you can skill your stats like strength, intelligence, charisma etc within a given timespan.

Grinding each day step by step and then yielding big rewards in the long run is super fun.

 

If I had a partner who enjoys watching netflix every evening after work I'd rather just be alone.

me too

 

Now I'm in mental hospital

I see how another guys get calls, but not me.

I'm not hikikomory, I have "friends", but now, I feel myself so alone, like abanded ugly home.

 

Ask one girl to come to me and spend some time and bring cigarettes, but as you understand, I have answer like "I haven't energy for it"

 

And what I can say? "ok" but after that I haven't any wish to call for any of them

 

You could be the one calling, too.

I'm so tired, I have only 2 person who calling me.

After situation from prev post I'm understand, another people haven't any empathy to me, now its what I need but cant get it.

 

Also, I'm trying to call but "sorry today I'm busy, I recall tomorrow" and without recall at next days

 

(2 guys cant call me or visit, its impossible now for some "real" reason)

Why? What happened?

Have depression last ~5 years, but only visited psychiatrist and got pills.

But last time its become to critical phase, and I "just cant anymore"

And see future like after half year will try heroin and slow die next 3 month

 

And another way - hospital for 3 week.

Seeing ukraine ball, I had to remember two ukrainian women with three children in my favourite kebab store and the kids were screaming all the time 😩

Did you try shrooms yet?

Yes, have experience , nice but didn't recover me.

And now anyway can't use them because they don't working together with my pills(just not working)

Sad, I see its world-trend loud children, don't like that.

 

Ok guys, thanks for dialog, time to sleep

Ukraine is back!

Welcome back sweety!

Get well.

Hi, I'm back, but I'm new at this generation KC

thanks

HAHAHHAHAHA pathetic germ simpoid thought the ratmean pigdog whose dead mystery meat daddy used to be putin's cannon fodder is bak but its dont, it's an actual ukrainien!!! hahahahah! eat shit, fucker!

Welcome anyway fren.

seems like you have forgotten to take your pills against.

in russia pills come in bottle form and you have to insert them in your angus, can't blame him for not wanting to take them

I feel alone too

Fuck pills.

Long hugs

Who's the last person you hugged? I don't get hugged and don't hug anyone. I think for me the last time must have been in February when a female colleague surprisingly decided to hug me for a greeting.

I hate when females hug you for a greeting 😩

Usually they hug me so I can feel their boobs. They love to get me horny. I HATE IT. They are the devil.

I'm not sure if another human bean has even touched me this year. Haven't been hugged in years.

You can easily change that.

easy for you.

why you say trhat

That video was ultra cringe OP

My friend, but at that moment I cried

Why did you cry?

I agree

Last time was my sister when my mother died.

Don't take pills don't go to the doctors. They want to destroy you. You only need God. I was worst than you. I had depression for 13 years and did all kinds of drugs. I even injected poison into my veins. I'm free now. Living my best life. I hit rock bottom in january. I don't even know how I got here tbh.

If HE can do it for me, he can do it for you.

Soyboi