lower your expectations

 

just because you're going to be in a presence of a (presumably) single woman doesn't mean she's going to have sex with you

That was a terriblö night to be alive

I am so glad Bernds were there for him on that day. Very few worse things happening to average Bernd I can imagine... The fact that the girls are fucking sub-average makes it even worse...

just b urself

 

for clarification; my friend is planning on having sex with his girlfriend for the 1st time, so that is why I expect something

My God, this is just brutal. I mourn this poor baguette for being cucked so hard.

this will never cease to löllenate me

t. at this story laugher

how old are you

lmaooooo

 

 

Same, I already lost my shit at "eh fine".

 

So, you're all going to his place after the mall or?

Condoms vary in size, wolfie

I'm 6 inches long and can fit my penis into normal-sized condom. I can fit in my penis and 1 of my testicles (either) into a large-sized condom.

malls have bathrooms

Why, blimey, I say!

Sexgarch raus!!

I didn't end up having sex.

Do you want to have it

 

Sex is overrated. If you're not doing it to reproduce, then what's the point? To feel good for a a couple of minutes?

You wouldn't get it, chud.

This

 

Seems like you are the one not getting it.

sex is like water, overrated when u have constant access to it, but when thirsty in the desert it is heaven

t. several sex haver

There's no greater feeling than having sex with the person you love. Chuds like you don't understand this, because they are unable to feel love as all the hatred has devoured them from the inside.

What did she respond when you asked her for sex?