
april 2018 was the last time i had sex

keinBernd raus!

somewhere around 2016 for me

few months ago, i don't miss it

me: january 2013

Fuging kein Thread.

>>294074
First time I had sex was in 2007

>>294079
First time I had sex was in 2008. I came on her belly and she started to cry.

>>294080
shiiit...

just start skateboarding you will be able to dance graciously and all women will flock to you even the ugly ones and if you skate long enough you will develope echo location so you will be able to find females in the dark who are hiding from you because they are so ugly that they cannot stand you looking at them
my mouth is your toilet

>>294085
Wherever I park with my van bitches from kilometers away can sense the stank of my poop bucket. They gather in flocks around my van and try to get a piece of me.

>>294085
how did both creatures under water and on land develop sonar system, explain this science

>>294143
poor visibility conditions exist in both environments


>>294143
both are vegan because meat poisons your body your athanor corporis your temple of life which is why corpse eater stink which is why echo location can only be gained by toilet mouthed vegans

>>294274
very cool thank you hans

>>294274
...welcome back?
Bernd
2023-11-23 22:49:19 ⋅ 6d
No. 294309
>>294068
for me it was june 2013 iirc. i was 17 she was 20 iirc, one of my sister's friends. a withdrawn and gloomy girl with a nice body. i came inside of her. wasn't the first time, but it was the last. the memory has kept me warm for 10 going on 11 years

>>294307
bernd bitte
ziemlich offensichtlich, dass ich den spasti nur nachahme

>>294320
yeah ive seen a few posts of you but
>corpse eater
was just too real

having sex with a hooker 6 years ago was a mistake, i would've been better off not knowing how good it is

>>294529
Just go to ans hooker against if you miss it so much.

>>294534
Im in a sexless relationship with a woman I love but who is afraid of sex

>>294549
based
sex is boring anyway it just makes everything dirty and youll have to waste time cleaning up

>>294549
>I suffer living in a relationship with a woman I love
can't make this up.

>>294551
We're not living together and have no place for sex either

>>294549
> sexless relationship with a woman I love
Are you related?

>>294559
No it's just that she's unironically asexual, not in the way twitter americans use this term but for real

>>294560
If you meant anything to her she would at least give you a handy once in a while to make you happy even if she does not derive any pleasure from it herself.

today gf will come over and there will be sex

>>294607
he is just there to provide
t. woman hating pro (can't love what i can't have)

>>294607
Nothing and nobody means much to her. I think she might be somewhat sociopathic. Then there's another issue such as sudden panic and/or anger attacks, my advances usually caused the latter even when it seemed like she's starting to enjoy it.

>>294632
How can you truly love someone who does not love you back?

>>294632
you cannot live with a cluster B individual and be happy

>>294632
Anger is good for sex, maybe punching you in the dick would make her horny


>>294807
KEK a cuckold get at least Sex.

>>294013
24th october for me

35-year-old virgin here!

>>294817
Are you me?


>>294807
get rid of her