Do a 2x2 matrix, call the fields A, B, C, and D.

Divide the fields into:

 

important - not important

urgent - not urgent

 

very easy, always works well

when i think about any of the things i want to do and don't then i keep thinking that there are ideal ways to do things. often it is better to do one thing and then afterwards do something else where i am already half there because i just did the other thing. and that knowledge kind of poisoned me from doing stuff. i keep grasping for such synergetic effects that i believe having a centralized place for ideas would help me make better choices on what to do exactly. this might be nothing but a big trap though...

 

because the most productive i have ever been has been through kind of a decentralized shotgun approach. where i just did the first thing that occured to me but then in the end everything got done because i did got around to anything eventually.

 

making a plan kind of works, not making a plan also kind of works.

not a bad approach, in the centralized approach i was gonna make each item into an hourglass shape and just by adding a few dots into the bottom of the hour glass and barely any in the top part of the hour glass, give the item this (not much time left) feeling.

 

in the decentralized approach i make a physical object represent the urgent stuff; easy example is a physical letter i have to respond to, the letter is just there, i place it somewhere, where i hopefully not forget it, though from time to time i have forgotten important stuff like that.

 

for how important something is i got nothing. maybe i should write the important stuff bigger then the unimportant stuff.

ultimately this stupid question on which approach to take is putting me into gridlock and i end up doing nothing.

 

maybe since something is better then nothing i should start without the big list and instead just try to fill my day and then slowly improve the system with which i do that. i notice i get into a task-finnishing fever and do more and more and then i start to overestimate myself and at somepoint create such ridiculously unappealing days that i simply go on a strike and refuse to work the task i set for myself.

 

since i know this happened i should be using for the most gentle, most simple and least discouraging way to do this, which is to

 

 

no planning ahead, no seeking for synergies, no while i do this i could as well start that, none of that complex shit, it makes me fall of my wagon.

another thing keeping me back is i don't have regular sleep schedules. i sleep when i am tired. often i go to bet around midnight, sometimes around 01:00 and then there are days where i go to bed at 04:00 and then i spend so much time where i can't do loud stuff since my walls are thin and the neighbors are very much fascinated by me and look for opportunities to meet me so bad, they have such thirst for me and it gets difficult to avoid them. i keep forgetting to use that narrow window where there is daylight and i am up and i can be loud, which makes me wish for having bothered to make a plan because before i blink twice it is night, i am up and bored and i can't be loud, leaving me with no other option but to plan.

sometimes i forget stuff i wanted to do, which again makes me wish for a list.

maybe i can see a good solution if i summarize the key areas:

 

i keep forgetting stuff i wanted to do

i keep not being able to use the little window of time of varying size i have and then it is too late and i regret

i constantly have to mind my stupid neighbors and not be too loud and not be too visible

i can only give like 5% of my energy otherwise i get molested

i easily get into a fever and start to plan so big that i lose interest in being productive alltogether

i keep thinking now is not a good time to do that

i can't believe how hard this is. i'm wasting my life on this shit, i can feel it.

 

i used to have a hybrid system of a time planner and a diary, which i very much believed in. it not only was a place where i could plan my days but i could also write next to it what i actually wound up doing because sometimes i choose against what i planned to do and do something else entirely.

 

WHAT I REALLY LIKED ABOUT THIS WAS THAT WHEN ALL I DID WAS SIT AT A PC AND PLAY GAYMES, THEN I WOULD DRAW IN THIS DIARY THIS HUGE BLOCK OF [PLAYED FACTORIO] AND I WOULD SEE THAT I WASTED AN ENTIRE DAY SITTING ON THE PC.

 

it would make something like that unbearably obvious to me.

 

this was actually wonderful but it kind of became a canvas for the day, a diary. this became so personal and so intimate that i felt they grew into precious artifacts that could never throw these pages away so they started to accumulate and i kind of got overwhelmed trying to decide what to do with these pages.

then i did a more abstract approach for a while and just put 3 symbols on a blank piece of paper.

 

a briefcase (representing business hours)

a sun (representing the few hours after business hours where it is still light outside)

a moon (representing the night)

 

beyond all numbers and concepts these where the 3 significantly different enough times every day had where i would collect things to do.

 

under the the little briefcase i would write things where i have to be at a place before it closes at 16:00, like a store or the office of university or some shit.

 

under the moon i would write things i can do where i don't have to be loud. reading books, playing games, computer stuff,...

 

this kind of helped me use my time better.

i already did all these experiments for years. i should know by now what works with my particular life 🤔

if i actually did a centralized list of all the things i wanna do, it would be hundreds of entries. i don't think i've ever had one that really tries to capture everything. i do have notepads where i tried this but when i do such a centralized list, then it becomes so big that i get scared to even look in it.

 

I WANT THIS LIST BUT WHEN IT IS THERE, DISREGARDING IT BECOMES IRRESISTABLE CANDY TO ME.

 

knowing this, isn't it better not to have it then? i dunno. such doubts.

meanwhile i keep thinking that the things i want to do are growing. it is already a big pile. it never gets smaller. if it keeps developing at that pace then the pile will continue to grow at a pace that i will never be able to carry off.

 

at some point i have to introduce reality into this pile.

i notice i have no system for respecting varying amounts of specificity

 

having something like "do the dishes" has a clear beginning and ending.

 

having something like "have my flat represent my values" might not be never ending, but it is an ideal that i can't spend a day doing and be done with it.

 

i have no way to account for that in any time management system.

i do kind of wish i had some form of overview of all the things i want to do so i can keep shoving things into timeslots i have and reduce that fucking pile.

if only there was a way to make appointments without having to use linear time.

 

in linear time when i set an appointment to a date and a time then the thing is saved and automatically comes up when time has advanced to that point.

 

i need something like that where i can remind myself of stuff without the help of linear time, so far all i came up with is lists but then i never look into that list.

 

if i was an actual sorcerer i could make that list come alive and read itself to me periodically.

as an alternative to appointments in linear time i tried to make reminding me into a habit. stuff like whenever there is a full moon i read my list of things i want to do.

 

this however requires me to uphold the habit for so long that it becomes automatic. which seems like an unclimbable mountain at this point.

bro what the fuck

 

Are you okay?

 

i'm trying to condense all the things i have learned when it comes to time management into something i can live with. i learned a lot of what works and what doesn't and it is time to create a system i like that reflects all i have learned.

 

it is a process, a creative process, you should try it some time.

i notice "the pile" is a excellent nickname for all the things i want to do, whether they are on a list or not.

I usually have two lists.

One list of things that are easy to do

-buy that, clean that, do that one this website, etc.

and one list of things that I really like to put off like making doctors appointments or going to a public office to get some official document or switch to a different power supplier or something.

 

First list is easy to work off. Just put on a podcast/audiobook and start doing it. The main purpose of that list is to not forget things that you want to do.

The problem with the second list is that it's size and the tasks are often overwhelming so you usually don't work on it at all. To solve that you only work on one thing of this list per day but do this consistently. The sooner you do that task at that day the sooner you have it behind you and can do different things that you enjoy.

 

Also sort the second list from easy to hard. So you can get into the rythm of doing one thing per day with the easy stuff first and train you heda to consistently work on these things. I think your main problem is being a stoner btw. It fucks with your brain chemistry.

the pile keeps growing and i don't know how big it is, it is more like an iceberg. if i knew how big it was, it would be a mountain to me. i don't know how big it is and right now the stack is frozen while i am locked in indecision.

 

what a waste! i have such a healthy body. i should be swinging my pickaxe at this iceberg.

 

does it even matter how big it is? i'm gonna use my limited time anyways.

 

the way more important area on what to focus on is how do i use the time asap. time is the only currency. time is the money. actual money is garbage. the next few hours. what to do with the hours of the next day.

 

i think it has to be something like that for me. in some way i have to have lists that make sure i don't forget a thing but then the thing is not done. it is not like in a video game where i can just place it in one second and my workers do it and i can already rely on that it is done. i have to make that shit happen!

 

 

i remember trying something like that when i tried to use a spreadsheet as a list for all the things but then the categorization had no end. i wanted to give each item a score for: how long it will take, how difficult it is, how urgent it is, how long i have been procrastinating this for, etc. and then this strong urge to fuck this spreadsheet began to grow. maybe i could have just used a formula that calculates the optimal choice of what to do next based on adding the scores of everything. i hate digital though because this means i always have to have a computer present just to use it.

 

 

dude who smokes one joint half the size of a cigarette on the weekend is not a stoner. just so you can stop being lost and confused and make better quality posts i attach you this video of an actual stoner.

 

it is very easy to have a life where your boss, your parents or your wife makes all the decisions for you and you merely obey but managing your own life based on your own experiences and values is quite different.

That thing were you believe that everyone is interested in you and does things to fuck with you to get your attention sounds very typical for weed induced paranoia. How about you try a weed fast for a couple of weeks/months and see if it gets better?

i think it's going to end up being something like that. maybe with a thicker middle part where i can put a few different pens.

 

 

yeah that's quite the common narrative that people who don't speak from experience and combined with your habit to blow things out of proportions and seek problems where there are none, this i can safely ignore. you just don't understand weed and what it does.

 

i do that once or twice every year and you know what it always teaches me? it teaches me that all the little things i don't like about me are not my brain getting bad from smoking too much weed, they come from me dropping the ball, being unfocused, being under-exercised.

something like this maybe.

 

i found a nice way to use my diary style two sided calendar and the simple one with the 3 timezones (brieface, sun, moon) into one numberless system so no need to print blank pages to write in, that turned out to be annoying.

i used to carry these big a4 books around and just write ideas and thoughts down with a nice fountain pen. over the years it simplified to simple tear-out notepads that i wrote with pencil or ballpointpen but i missed the old days of fountain pen so i bought a modern one.

trying out the new system i built, so far digging it. i quite like NOT having the numbers on the page because that way i can start the day slower or quicker as i had planned and i don't have this constant feeling that i am behind schedule. i do the things i write down when i get around to it and this works better without predetermined timeslots.

 

measuring the day in hours kind of ruins my intuition.

i found something similar to this in a stationary store for ~10€ and i already like it. i like the small size (A5 papersize).

 

underneath the clipboard on the right is this abstract kalendar-diary-hybrid that i change every day, on the left is everything else. all the lists and overviews.

works good so far, the diem is very much being carped!

 

i did plan to do 6 things, did them all. i am way less lazy then i think, i did lots of things.

 

i still feel i exhausted myself quite that hard last time i skated because i tried to skate again today, only did 10 minutes and then i was cold vecause the sun hid behind a cloud.

 

this is a good system, your mouth is my toilet.

is that a metaphor for your deteriorating mental state?

 

not trying to be rude but you ask so many questions and nothing interesting ever comes from answering you.

 

you keep asking for the ball to be passed to you but you don't know how to run with the ball and score.

 

talking to you feels like having just played fallout 3 and playing fallout 4 for the first time and realizing how simplistic and meaningless the dialog is.

 

talking to you feels like doing you a favor that you will never be able to repay.

I'll take that as a "yes"

 

if you truly understood things about the human psyche and thus were in the position that your discussion of my mental health implies, you would have taken that as a rejection but of course you are busy trying to pretend that you are not a repelling monster that people turn away from so you can continue to talk to people who do not want to be talked to by you and continue your nasty gaslighting and information gathering.

 

of course you can not find a husband. the more you play dumb and the more your sense of entitlement grows, the more repelling you will become. stop being this ugly predator, turn around while you still can.

Same with me.

 

Yesterday, i threw away some trash and rediscovered my A5 book for notes

 

Made a list in it: some vacation plans

Status: half of plans doned

 

 

New plans, however, seem to rise

Vacation outta moscow time plans: doned

 

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