>I told her that my apartment is shitty
KEK what a retard
What part of stop saying unatracttive shit to women did you not understood the first time?
Days ago I had a date with a beautiful blonde woman I met through okcupid. We kissed.
Then we had a second date today; we met in the park and she wanted either to go to her house or my house. Before, she mentioned that she didn't have a tv, I have and I also suggested an idea for us to a watch a British comedy together, but I told her that my apartment is shitty, that she should be prepared and I understand if she actually didn't want to go, but she wanted anyway.
When we finally went to my apartment- which is a special cesspoll of poverty as you can imagine of israel- she didn't want to enter. I said to her "since you are here already..." and she entered.
Sitting in my bed she said that she was bothered by something, maybe it was the political talk we had earlier, maybe it was when I mentioned that I may have autism and this for her is serious (I was only joking), and she had to go. She assured me that it wasn't because of my apartment, she said that for her this is like a panic attack that she can't explain and the climate was very strange when she left.
This makes me very sad because she is absurdly attractive. How should I proceed in this situation? Should I never contact her again? Is it so bad to live in a shitty apartment?
I fucked up big time.
This woman is beautiful, blonde, tall, intelligent, successful and wealthy.
She is leftist and cares a lot about politics, but who isn't like that in a theocracy ran by thieves and settlers such as Israel?
I fucked up, she was talking about Israeli politics and the protests with me, then I started to ask what she thinks about cancel culture, about transgenderism, about race, I even mentioned terfs and jk Rowling.
When she offered us to go to her house, I should have accepted, instead of bringing her to my apartment, you have to see her face after I opened the door, she didn't even wanted to enter.
I know and I agree with you. But in fact I was already fantasying about gf'ing her or at least having her long term, thus I wanted to be myself.
And also in our previous date she validated and enjoyed all my edgy opinions, seemed to find me very intelligent, thus I thought with myself that I only "needed to be myself" in order to gain her.
Also there was a tension or a discomfort in this second date, I felt that we were not going anywhere...
It's very hard to know the lines and borders of things...
Of course I cleaned. But even though I pay a fortune to live in the Tel Aviv region, my apartment looks like a favela shack:
Holes everywhere, prefabricated thin wood walls separating what was once a whole apartment into 3 different units (I live in the middle one), white paint over furniture, mould... In fact when I came to see this apartment with the landlord, it was on reform, the moment I rented he sneakily stopped reforming it and left things as it is. Some doors don't have frames, some door frames don't have mortar connecting them to a wall, one even has a piece of a rubber that I can remove with my hand if I want.
Meanwhile this woman is the state aristocracy, she went to an elite army unit where she learnt programming while the plebs became coocks or truck drivers. She lived in London for a time. She works in software development and cyber security making 3 or 2.5 times what I make.