An American tourist and former Navy SEAL was visiting a cafe in Paris. He asked (in American) for a coffee with two sugars. The barista refused to serve him and said "If you want your coffee you will have to order it in French!" the American grabbed him by the throat and shouted "WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE WHEN *MY* PEOPLE WON YOUR FUCKING WAR FOR YOU!?".

 

Stunned by the American's bravery, the rest of the cafe began clapping loudly and offering him celebratory blowjobs. That way the day that France adopted the US Constitution as holy scripture,

 

That American Navy SEALS name was Jesus Christ.