I wish I could see something divine in this damned insane world.

I wish to see something divine instead

then why is it wicked and ugly

I used to believe only the human world and society was fucked up but today I know it is the whole world and nature of this planet that is. There is violence and chaos everywhere, everyone is fighting for survival, everyone is murdering and raping and stealing, every single being is in horrifying pain and fear, there is nothing divine here, it is hell

My thoughts exactly. The whole history of evolution is a history of sacrificing something (pieces of beauty and harmony) in order to survive, the same with the history of human civilisation.

Your mind on depression

Perhaps, but it's based on things we saw. So you say we should get blind to see how divine our world is?..

Your depression filters your reality. People who are not depressed perceive the world differently. You can't tell how the world is objectively, but maybe you can find a way to prioritize the good over the bad.

Your mind is on the poisons of plants they developed for the purpose of defense and survival and you chose to inject those poisons voluntarily and in full awareness to distract yourself from your suffering in hopes they would induce some sort of delusional state of spirit or mind to take the pain away, my mind on the other hand is clear you smelly hippie

Yes, depressed people unironically believe this. The depressed and pessimist world view is anti-life, it will never be considered clear or natural.