Impressive. Do you run marathons as well?

You do weightlifting just to not end up as a skeleton, right? Running 3x a week for at least an hour must be catabolic.

no marathons, is's just my way of dealing with an eating disorder, probably not that healthy but it is what it is

I lift weights and do calisthenics, ride bicycle, jump rope, swim at pool and open sea, run and box. Gym/calisthenics 6 days per week. Bicycle, swim, rope or running are my cardios (I try to do each day a different cardio) and I box with friends once per week.

Every now and then I do some push ups, perhaps once or twice a day on average.

 

r8 my berndceps

Boy can lift

I walk

no but i try to achieve dat 10k steps à day as often as i can

you look very manly and strong

Circuit training for 45 minutes 3 times a week. Squats and deadlifts 2 times a week. Running for half an hour once a week. Currently trying to additional do isolation exercises for biceps and triceps on circuit training days because I finally want to have big arms this year. But I feel like I'm starting to do too much. Also only 4kgs shy of 100kg and I doubt that it is so good on my joints if I get that heavy.

 

Don't worry honey. Afaik there is no evidence that long distance running is bad for your health. Typically your body will tell you when you do too much.

t. currently haver of leg and shoulder problems

why are you naked, Bernd? I'm shocked

Not him, but I am not surprised that you are the first Bernd to answer him. Did you get a boner?

no, did you?

No

not sure if I believe you

Okay

Because I took that photo today right before taking ans shower after my workout. Do you wear clothes while taking ans shower? I know that poles tend to be conservative catholics but this would be a little much.

Why would you take photos of yourself nude? You are aware that Tim Cook who is homosexual sucks all those photos from your iCloud, right?

I don't have a iCloud. I assume that Tim Cook has better photos to jerk off to than to my kohlface.

What's so bad at taking photos of yourself nude?

I would appreciate it if you and Polan would be the next ones that post nude pictures of themselves ITT. I strongly believe that this will make us bond together more closely as an internet community.

aren't all those pictures on iCloud enough for you, Tim?

 

apparently not

There is nothing I could provide that could compete to a picture of your delicious ass. So I must insist that you post one of yourself.

There’s just no gain in it and the omnipresent security risk. Someone could access your phone, you get hacked, and then some third party has photos of you nude and could use them to extort you etc

Nobody is interested in photos of men. Lots of males will literally send pictures of their dicks to every female they can get a hold on. There is nothing to lose.

A dick isn’t identifiable. A full body pic plus face is different.

What negative thing could happen if a person that you know would know how you look naked? It is all just in your mind.

Feigning shock at nudity is a very Polish reaction, I've observed before.

why settle for a picture when you could have a tasting?

 

guess you're right, nothing would happen as long as you don't let it get to you; but plenty of people would be ashamed because of societal and cultural norms they were taught as children

 

how many times have you exposed yourself to a Pole?

Why should we go straight to the main dish if we didn't even have the appetizer? I want it all.

Wrong, I could pick my dick out of a 1000

Fuck me man

 

why is this polish poster so gay?

This is a wholesome board. No bully pls. Poland is a gem.

Now post some nude pictures of yourself.

Poles are tremendously domesticated.

t. physiognomy pro

careful there, I would ruin you

 

awww thank you; although I'm not offended by being called gay and I'm not even gay

 

what does it even mean?

Pls don't ruin me. I just want to cuddle.

do you want to be the big or the little spoon?

Little. And please keep you hands where I can see them back there.

where should I put my hands then?

Wherever you want as long as I can see them. Where do you want to put them?

around your chest then, so I can squeeze you properly; why do you need to see my hands?

No, and I'm thinking this year about doing some exercise from home

Just want to make sure that the ruining of me is kept at a minimum.

don't think about it, start today

 

I'm afraid it's going to happen regardless

Come on Poland. I know you don't really want to ruin me. And if you do I'll love you even more until you don't.

of course I don't want to, but that's just what happens, you'd be ruined for anyone else

How did you learn yoga and pilates, Polan?

I have some sort of stretching program but I want to do more on my off days. Can I just watch some youtube videos or do I have to attend ans course?

you don't need any courses, although it'd be beneficial since an instructor would be able to check and correct your form; you should be fine with youtube videos (that's how I learned) as long as you're gentle with yourself and don't try to push beyond your limits (I've overstretched my upper hamstring recently and it's not fun)

 

I'm pretty sure I already said that in another thread, but Fitness Blender is a great resource; Yoga With Adriene is also good but she talks a lot and it annoys me sometimes

Got it.

What do you like better yoga or pilates?

I wonder, why did you start searching for imageboards again after having quit them multiple years ago?

I like both, but if I had to pick one then I'd choose yoga because it calms me down; although I really do like the muscle burn during pilates

 

one day I was bored and krautchan just popped into my head so I googled it found this website; I stayed because Bernds are nice here (well, most of them are) but I could do without random cp threads

You long for human interaction

it would be terrible if true

It's true, else you wouldn't spend your time on KC.

then I need to stop doing that, don't I?

Why are you like that?

I don't know

while i know that each of you are individual people on the other end of a post, i can't really believe it. on the animal level posting on an ib is more like typing things into a chatbot, at least until i enter a protracted conversation. i usually close the tab at that point because it is disturbing, i've never been good at text based communication so usually i rant insanely while drunk.

this site is very strange, insofar as its small enough that the above described effect is lessened if not negated entirely, its more like a forum with no account names. i have never been a forum poster, at least not until i signed up to kiwifarms last month, but that site is even stranger. human interaction for me is transient and i very seldom follow it up or pursue. those who have known me don't for very long

 

come to scotland we can go for pinta

do you promise this isn't a ploy to sic moths on me?

no(yes)

I'm suspicious of you

Have you heard about somethingawful, the forums?

yeah, don't they require a membership fee or something like that?

$10/month, last time I checked

i'm not made of money, tzaddik.

I do some lifting on homegym

I learnded today that I don't need to eat expensive fish oil anymore to supplement omega3 but might just as well just eat ans inseed oils from the supermarket. This is way cheaper and way less disgusting.

t. finished his last bottle of fish liver oil yesterday

you can also put it in your hair overnight

Why would you want oily hair?

you wash them in the morning, duh; it'll make your hair shiny and strong

my hair is hella dry and if I wash my hair I need to oil it afterwards

Imagine the poor pillow :(

that's why you wrap your hair in plastic wrap and put a beanie on; it's a bit uncomfortable with longer hair, but not that bad

 

have you tried an SLS free shampoo?

Sounds tedious. How often do you do that?

used to do it once a week, now it's once a month, sometimes even less; I mix 1mL of an oil blend into my conditioner every day so I don't really need to oil my hair overnight anymore

Do you have commercial tier hair thanks to it?

I do and so can you

I can't. I'm balding so badly that I have to buzz it. Everything else looks like shit. I'm always jelly of people with really nice long hair.

at least you don't find long hair between your ass cheeks after a shower

I would love to find soft long beautiful hair between my asschecks after the shower. I would treasure every single one.

leave the door unlocked when you take a shower today

Long hair was found. But it was coarse, and curly, and attached to my asscrack. Thank you polan.

I feel terrible for laughing at your misfortune

 

have you considered shaving your crack though?

how tf do you get arms like these?

fug

Finished lifting, have to do it on Friday too as I already skipped Monday.

I wish I'd manage the 3 times per week again, but I just can't manage better.

You lifted at midnight?

I tend to squander around until I finally start lifting, so I end up finishing my shower at midnight.

 

Logic would dictate that I just start half an hour after I get home from work and be done with it before 8pm. I just can't get my ass up.

I stopped lifting in October when I got Corona and didn't do it since.

I had a long down phase too, just get back to it!

You can do it!

Did this maybe two times in my life and this is a really bad idea mang. As soon as the hair grows back the stubble acts like hundreds of tiny needles that starts to scrub on the other side of my soft and tender cheek when I'm walking. It hurts a lot. Trimming is the maximum someone should do down there. Did you make a different experience?

 

Get ans homegym. It takes up a ridiculous amount of space in your flat and reminds you everytime you see it that you should use it and how much of a waste of space and money it is when you are not using it.

first time I shaved it was like my underwear was full of hornets, now it's completely fine; I also tried wax but it might not be a good idea depending on your pain tolerance

I would have assumed that you would put less effort into looking pleasing to the eye when you are not interested in attracting a partner.

The function of having hair between the cheeks and under the armpits is to reduce friction. It is completely fine to have some hair there as long as it is groomed imho.

am I not allowed to look nice for myself? besides, I don't do anything that would make me uncomfortable

You can do everything that you want to do, sweetie. I am just trying to understand it.

making your underwear feel like it's full of hornets, waxing, and wrapping your head in plastic wrap overnight, sounds rather uncomfortable.

the hornets thing happened once, waxing I've given up since it was too painful and I don't wrap my head in plastic, just my hair; but I guess you're right, I still do slightly uncomfortable things if I think it's worth it

 

I hope I explained it better now

You did just fine and I bet you look fabulous thanks to it.

you're too precious for this world

You only get big and strong wrists if you did lots of training or physical labor while growing up. If you spend most of your time before 20 in front of a computer you will stay a wristlet forever and nothing will change that.

Fattys typically have huge calves. Best thing you can do for your calves is hike a lot with a heavy backpack. They just need tons of volume. I don't think that they respond so well to weight training.

Henry Cavill has tiny little girl wrists because he was a shutin fatty in his youth. No amount of steroids and training can change that.

fag should hook up with colored women instead

Lol the watch on his wrist is almost bigger than his hand

That's what I'm talking about

billions must race mix

Did you already lift this week, bros? Gonna hit up the gym after work and destroy the evil spirits that have plagued me for far too long.

Lifted yesterday evenings, feeling good.

Wednesday next! We can do it!

Post your training plan.

I wanna re-spawn with maxed out aesthetics, charisma & intelligence.

How did you get that?

Haven't been for a few months after I slipped and had my hand in plaster, still recovering but started going on Friday again. Was there on Saturday, Sunday and today. Feels good even though it feels like I have to start from scratch again.

Tomorrow I will go to the gym again after work.

Bernds, are your wrists clicking during push ups? it's not painful, just sounds weird

Normal pushups are bad for the wrists especially when you are a chonker. It is more ergonomical if you do pushups on the fists, with push up bars or gripping a dumbbell.

I've tried with dumbbells but the grips feels kinda awkward; I'll try on the fists though, thanks for the tip

Liftening against like a good boy.

 

It's a half-ass routine for me to half-ass.

Coming home from gym.

don't be so mysterious, tell us what you did

No, because every time someone posts something specific about their workout here, it gets ridiculed here or someone posts some smart ass remark about it.

maybe no one told them being mean is not allowed; did you have a good workout?

Yes, thank you for asking. Today I heard from a colleague that there will be a „company run“ in summer where many companies will participate (mine as well). It’s in June and I’d have to run 5km (if I understood correctly). I should probably begin training soon, because I think it would be a fun thing to do. What do you think?

if you think it'll be fun then I say go for it! you should do some test runs to establish your starting point and then train accordingly (is it weird that training for the run gets me more excited that the actual run?)

Omega3 update:

learnded that flaxseed oil only contains ALA Omega3 while the Omega3 you want is EPA and DHA Omega3. Only a small percentage of ALA Omega3 is converted to the other omega3 variants.

So I'm back to a tablespoon of cod liver oil against. At least I don't have to supplement Vitamin D anymore since cod liver oil is also high in Vitamin D.

what are you going to do with that flaxseed oil you bought? put it in your hair

I eat flaxseeds daily with my oats.

 

t. other Bernd

I still don't have hair on my heda, sweety.

 

I regularly make pizza dough myself, put spices, and canned diced tomatoes on top and bake it like a pizza. I eat this instead of buying bread for my meals. I put crushed garlic into the flaxseed oil and heat it for a bit and then drizzle it on the dough before putting on the tomatoes. I guess that flaxseed oil is still pretty good for you since vegetarians eat flaxseed all the time.

how do you prepare your oats?

 

who said anything about your head?

 

if you like savory yeast dough then you should try adding my favorite secret ingredient, nutmeg; you're going to love it or hate it, there is nothing in between (just don't add more than half a teaspoon, or maybe even less, it's very potent)

I don't really. I just put them in a bowl with flaxseeds, blueberries, raspberries, banana and milk and then eat it.

I always wondered what kind of unhinged person likes raspberries

I don't really like them. I just put them in for the vitamins.

Thanks for the tip: I will try it. Do you grind nutmeg fresh or buy it in powdered form?

 

I would soak the oats in milk overnight to make them soft.

I grind it fresh

t. recreational user of the 'meg

My parents had a grater and a nut but I never bothered to find a place to buy it for myself. But just thinking about it makes me remember the intensive nutmeg smells when you ground it. The preground stuff smells really weak.

I don't eat that kind of breakfast for the taste (it tastes like shit), only for its nutrients and it keeps me saturated a long time.

powdered, I hate grating things and I'm scared of grating my fingers

 

you remind me of a guy who was eating powdered eggshells for calcium; how do you force the food down if it tastes bad? I make fairly good oatmeal but after a week of eating it every morning it just makes me nauseous (or maybe that's just because I'm stuffing my face to eat it as fast as possible)

Mix a half scoop of whey and a pinch of salt into your porridge and give it 2 minutes in the microwave. Mix before adding liquid for better dissolving.

Other things I like to add irregularly: raisins, prunes, cinnamon, some dark chocolate to melt into, also banana.

 

Going to try the nutmeg, sounds great.

dog have mercy on your soul

Tell us you tricks.

I'd have to measure everything if you want a real recipe because now I just eyeball stuff

 

put 3 handfuls of thick rolled oats in a pot, pour any kind of nut milk (or oat milk) so it covers the oats (or more if you want it to be thinner in consistency), add 1 teaspoon of sugar (I use demerara, but I don't think it matters, I just have it on hand for baking) and 1 pinch of salt, cook on low heat for 5 minutes or until oats get soft and goopy (is that even a word?); what's great about not using regular milk is that it won't stick to the bottom of the pot and you don't have to stir constantly; after it's done cooking add one tablespoon of peanut butter and a sliced banana, mix it but not too thoroughly (so you have nice streaks of peanut butter); pour the oatmeal in a bowl (this makes two portions for me but it depends on your portion size) and eat it straight away or leave it to cool, cover with plastic wrap, store in a fridge (I'd say up to two days) and reheat in a microwave later

You forgot to add cinnamon. That's a must for oatmeal.

tips for doing the 'meg:

 

- Take it early enough (before noon): it takes about 4hrs before it hits you properly & you peak at about 8-10h after. Make sure you have a whole day when you don't have to be productive.

- You will likely have some problems with hydration. that's the main unpleasant side effect - your throat will feel hella dry and you will feel thirsty. Have some water, tea, diluted juice at hand; sip it slowly, don't just gulp down the water to quench the thirst (because you will not be able to). If you overhydrate you will have a bad time. There's also hangover if you fall asleep and wake up dehydrated.

- Make sure not to panic. you're gonna have a very bad time if you start panicking.

- Next day you might feel lightheaded, this is normal and it will fade out.

- My recommended dose is 2-3 nuts, freshly ground; drinking it with black tea (swallow the chunks because tea won't extract the essential oil well, it's just so it comes down easier) or boiling it with milk (here the essential oil will get extracted into milk, you may notice some film forming on the surface, you can drink just the milk and if you boiled it for 15mins most of it will be extracted already) works well, some eat it with icecream, there's different ways. If you're worried about a bad time you can start with 1 nut and see if it works for you. I haven't done high doses but above 8-10 nuts its supposedly pure suffering so even if you think your dose of 2-3 nuts isn't enough after 3-4 hours and feeling basically nothing don't up the dose.

- Enjoy responsibly.

cinnamon is only allowed in baked goods with apples

 

I'm afraid so. Pls raise your hands so I can see them. The local authorities have been informed.

 

For apple taste you could have added applesauce. This is a really low hanging fruit for a good oatmeal. depending on the size of the tree of course. But forgetting this is not nearly as bad as not adding cinnamon. Consuming cinnamon has tons of health benefits.

Sounds really unpleasant.

It's dirt cheap and lasts you a long time. And you can buy it in supermarket, which is a huge plus for me who has no friends and no means of figuring out where to buy weed.

you'll need to catch me first

 

you know what's good? thin unpeeled apple slices straight from the fridge; no health benefits will convince me to consume cinnamon, it's like it can't decide if it wants to be black pepper or cocoa powder

 

I've only ever heard of teenagers trying nutmeg for its hallucinogenic properties, mostly because it's easily available and teens are just dumb enough to try anything to get high

Just order your drugs in the dark web. What kind of internet expert are you?

And send them to my home address where grandma picks up mail?

Breh, I'd use it for flavoring, if I want to get high there's nicer things.

If I was a grandma I'd get high 24/7. Or are you scared she might steal your shit?

Beware! As soon as I find you and I will find you. You will be put into cuddle prison. There you will be punished with one intensive cuddling for every time you ate a bowl of oatmeal without cinnamon. I might go easier on you if you turn yourself in willingly.

my by own estimation it would be at the very least 1260 bowls of oatmeal and this number is only going to grow because I'm an unrepentant criminal

 

I shall never put cinnamon in my mouth

Then better prepare yourself for some extensive cuddling.

 

You could try putting a little bit of cinnamon into you ground beef. If seen someone on youtube saying that it greatly enhances the beef flavor.

sounds like a ploy to make unwitting victims ingest cinnamon, very sneaky

How did you become Polish?

I emerged from my mother like this; do Poles like cinnamon?

You think you become Polish through being born by a Polish mother?

I guess there are multiple ways to become Polish: to be born to a parent of Polish descent, or to be born in Poland; immigrants can be Polish too as long as they want to be; so the way I see it anyone can become Polish

 

how do you think I became Polish?

Don't you think there is something metaphysical about becoming/being Polish that transcends mere biology?

I've never been one for national pride and all that stuff, but plenty of people would say "yes" to your question

I don't understand Poland, the Polish nation, the Polish people et al. I don't understand Polish life, because it doesn't correspond to my own reality and life. The world is a diverse place being a home to billions of people, cultures and nations. I want to truly understand someone or something and who would be a better person for inquiring about the Polish experience than an actual Polish person?

ask away and I'll answer to the best of my knowledge, but be warned - I don't think I'm normal so my opinions might not align with those of an average Pole