Does your gf tongue your anus?

Thanks to Cotton Eye Joe, everybody's anus is dry.

 

He brought disaster wherever he went

The hearts of the girls was to Hell, broken, sent

They all ran away so nobody would know

And left only men 'cause of Cotton-Eye Joe

I have never understood why girls would lick male anuses

some people love to suck on toes, some people enjoy being peed on, some people like to lick asses; crazy worlds, lots of kinks

Have you ever tried? Maybe male anus tastes really good.

Iirc human angus gland produces a substance also present in vanilla bean.

care to test that theory?

It's hard to lick one's own anus. So I would provide my anus for you to have a taste for scientific purposes.

Girls need to lick any male part. It's healthy male domination.

Sometimes Zetas are just based.

if this is going to be proper research then we'll need way more Anus Providers and Taste Testers than just you and me

You getting your ass licked by your gf?

That depends. If you can taste the vanilla right away from my anus, this should be enough to approve the theory. Other outcomes are more difficult.

that would prove nothing, what if you're an outlier? I'm starting to suspect that you don't care about science at all and just want me to lick your ass for fun

How would that be possible? If the human anus does not produce vanilla flavor it can't be produced regardless of my specific genetics. I'm starting to suspect that you don't care about science at all and just try to weasel out of licking my ass.

 

Maybe we could even do two rounds. First one will be my raw anus and the second we apply some vanilla flavoring to my anus so you can experience how it would taste.

I'm not a biologist or a geneticist, but I've spent ten years at university and I know you can't research anything with a sample size of one; with that said I will gladly lick your ass when you admit it's just for fun (unless you're attempting to role-play a scientist and I'm killing your fantasy)

what a bleak view on science. Science is not something that can exclusively done in universities but it is for everybody. Of course this is not enough to publish papers about but it does not mean that the asslicking would be meaningless. Whatever we would find out would be a step forward on the subject.

A sample size of one is better than a sample size of none. That's what I always say.

 

I would participate in that. But we should see this as a separate activity apart from our scientific endeavors. So you want me to shave my anus for you or is ok to leave it hairy?

The hairs are essential, don't shave them

I'm sorry, don't you want to get published and watch your h-index on research gate go up? with you being the only test subject the only conclusion we're going to reach is whether your ass tastes like vanilla, we won't discover any general truths about human ass; you should always strive to be thorough, that's what I say

 

as for shaving, I'm okay with whatever makes you the most comfortable; should I put on my lab coat?

ok. What would be an appropriate sample size in your opinion? I don't want to hinder you in your desire to lick as many anuses as possible. But it is hard enough to get even two Bernds to meet up.

from what I've gathered while I was in university, science is mostly a shitshow that produces papers with little value that noone ever reads. I don't care about that.

yes. With nothing underneath please.

tedious data collection will be someone else's task, silly; I'll be satisfied with just your anus

 

true, lots of papers are written just to spend grant money and boost authors' egos, that's actually one of the reasons I bowed out

 

are you sure about that? it has no buttons

thank you. You make my anus feel really special :3

 

I've never seen a lab coat without buttons but I would accept overknee socks if you feel too cold with just the coat.

I also offer my anus for this important research

Nice. How do you feel about my beard tickling your behind during the tasting. Would this be ok for you?

your anus is special only because it's attached to a special person

 

I don't think I'm going to get cold if I'm with you, but I can wear socks if you'd like; any other requests?

Yes. I want to cuddle afterwards so I don't just feel like a piece of anus.

 

So how are we going to do this? Do you want to come here, shall I come to you, or are we going to meet somewhere in the middle?

You can meet at my home

 

t. Berliner

Do you want to have a taste of my anus as well as payment for the shelter?

oh, of course, I wouldn't want you to think I'm just using you for your ass

 

I'm a little concerned about effects of travel on your rectal microbiome, so perhaps I should come to you, or if you don't live too far we could take >>245297 up on his offer

 

just no funny business, I will fight you if I have to

No, thanks.

 

You can try fighting me, but I would dominate you little sissy anyway.

are you faggots actually going to meet up?

No, they won’t

The berlin guy seems a little rude. Maybe it is better if you come directly to me. I could pick you up at the main station in stuttgart whenever you want. Or at the airport if it fits you better.

I was reading your anus licking discussion for fun and not for sadly reminders of the mistakes of my life and of my disappointment in humanity...

What happened? Tell us your story.

I read that a significant amount of experiments in published papers is non-reproducible bollocks. Some 20% or there about. Even a couple of noble prizes had to be silently retracted 20 years later.

 

Goes like this:

1. become a scientist

2. have no luck

3. you HAVE to publish something

4. make a research nobody cares about, forge results according to your bias

5. publish, nobody reads it

6. profit

After presenting my master's thesis the professor asked me if I wanted to write ans paper about it. I replied that I found that work really stressfull and asked how much they would pay me. This would be right after my graduation so I wouldn't be a student anymore. He replied that I should be glad that I wouldn't have to pay them to get the paper published.

I didn't like the topic of my thesis very much and it had little scientific value imho. Chosing not to do ans PHD was one of the biggest decisions in my life and I often wonder how it would have turned out if I had stayed at university.

I have to request time off work; do you think telling my boss I'll be travelling to attend a tasting of German delicacies is a good idea?

 

I'll probably come by plane, as much as I dislike getting my legs squished, twelve hours in a train would be much worse

 

you need a little sadness in your life to appreciate joyful moments, Bernd

 

and don't forget that to publish anything you have to play nice with old farts who rule over your department

 

you'd have a PhD and that's about it; maybe you'd stay at uni to teach or as a researcher; I don't know how it is in Germany, but here you have to give classes when working on your thesis, it's not that bad but students can be annoying little shits; although if you didn't enjoy doing your Master's then you'd probably hate it even more

How about you want to go to travel here to visit ans good fren?

Do you have any suggestions on what types of foods I should eat to give my anus the most delicious aroma? I think lots of fiber is a given but I'm thinking more of aromatics.

 

I wonder if you can enjoy university life more if you are not crippled by anxiety due to exams all the time. At least it gives the opportunity to meet more people than in an ordinary job I believe.

Sorry to disrupt your anus licking discussion, but I come here to ask; is University really worth it? It seems to me that almost all value is lost in "higher education" (if you don't plan pursuing it out of sheer thirst for knowledge) when uni is the defacto standard level of education nowadays and that itself drives its quality downwards.

Depends on your expectations. I don't have to use any of the knowledge I learned in university in my job. Also university was for me a pretty bad experience due to test anxiety and stress and being poor as fuck. On the other hand I eventually managed it and maybe it made me a hardier person.

Without university degree the only way of earning as much as I do now would be through freelancing which is more stressful on its own.

At the end of the day everything I did in university was kind of a waste of time so I would have appreciated it if there would have been other ways to spend my 20's.

 

I doubt that university education was any better 20 years ago. I'd rather assume that the standards rose since then.

I'm a dropout and I'm fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

my tongue hasn't even touched your ass yet and we're good frend already? I'm intrigued to see how our relationship is going to progress afterwards

 

you should consume lots of fiber for health reasons, but I don't think it's going to affect the olfactory properties of your butt; maybe refrain from eating garlic

 

as I see it, there are four reasons to attend university: 1) your parents expect it of you or everyone you know goes, 2) you need a degree for work, 3) you want to learn for the sake of expanding your knowledge, or 4) you don't know what to do with yourself; reasons 1) and 4) are very common but generally if that's your only motivation to go to uni then you're going to just waste time and money; reason 2) is pretty solid, but you must know that university won't prepare you for work - meaning it won't give you practical skills you might need; but if it's a piece of paper that you need then go ahead; I attended uni for reason 3) and I can't say that I regret it; I studied two vastly different fields and while one of them is pretty much useless in my day to day I like knowing stuff; I'm actually kind of tempted to enroll in a post-grad course; but again - do you need uni to actually learn stuff? books are mostly free, you can just look at syllabuses and follow the material on your own (although it requires a fuckton of discipline to do that); also, universities aren't equal, if you go to a shitty one then quality of courses probably won't be too good; with all that said I think it's always worth it to learn; oh, and most people go to uni when they're too young to really know what they want in life; so, you know, whatever you decide, don't stay stuck if you realize you've made a mistake

 

Mark, is that you?

Szymon, you?

unfortunately not

This board is starting to make me hate gays

I wake up everyday and it feels cold between my cheeks. But no matter how many more blankets I put on it does not help. Only the warmth of a fellow Bernd on my anus could provide the much needed heat. But I am alone.

I wake up everyday and I feel an itch on my rosebud. But no matter how hard I scratch I won't go away. Only the massage of a fellow Bernd's tongue would drive that itch away. But here I am all alone.

I wake up everyday and it feels dry around my rectum. Dry and brittle like it was coated with sand. I put on ointments but none of them help. Only the saliva of a fellow Bernd could provide enough moisture to provide the much needed relief. But there is no one here.

 

I know that the polish Bernd is only toying with me but my anus needs love. It is nothing to be toyed with. And so it stays alone. It remains cold and dry. The dryness eventually forms cracks in my anus and when I scratch those cracks burst and start to bleed. The blood seeps out of my anus and with it I feel how my strength leaves my body. So I stay in bed, weak and suffering. All alone.

You don't know what flirting is

eh, that's fair I suppose