I had to do ans 15 minute presentation in a microsoft teams meeting in front of ~40 people at wörk today. Lots of managers and I didn't know most of the participants.
Presentation was good and I got some good feedback but I have severe issues with anxiety before such events.
I smoked a whole pack of cigarettes yesterday and today to deal with the anxiety. Although I don't smoke anymore. Also drank some beers. I already know that in two days I will get terrible headaches because of the nicotine. Yesterday I could barely work and only did some slides for the presentation because I can't concentrate when anxious.
3-4 days ruined for 15 minutes of presentation. How to make dealings? I always hoped that it would get better with age but it does not seem like it. Honestly I could have just nod give a fuck about that presentation and improvised. I'm a software developer. Nobody expects me to do good in such events. But I can't.