I had a dream last week about murdering people. By drowning. I was a soldier in this dream and they were soldiers of the opposite side, and it was a sunlit summer day, and I was laying with my face down on some wooden plank or log or something right above a river stream. The water in the river was quite dirty; brown and opaque, and my arms were submersed under the plank and my face was inches above water, and the water reflected sun in its little gentle waves. And my job was drowning people. They were tied and already underwater; someone was releasing them one by one upstream, and my job was to catch them - all that time they were underwater but somehow they weren't dying - my job was to catch them and to hold them underwater so they would die. And it was an absolutely gutwrenching experience. I literally felt the weight of shame and remorse inside my stomach (and I still feel it now, reminiscing about it). But back in the dream I wasn't showing how I truly feel about that - may be because I was afraid my comrades would think that I'm a "pussy". That wasn't really a nightmare, not of a frightening sort, at least. Just a dream that gives you a shitty mood when you wake up.




