No snow here. It's sunny all day.

i suffer in the norf

How Northerners don't commit suicide more often riddles me

people drink themselves to death instead

You mean all the unfrozen dog turds that have been preserved since November, all thawing out at once?

Slush and dog shit. I love early spring.

 

the magical time of year when hundreds of wild geese flock to my local park and shit all over it.

They use it to spawn their satanic offspring and shit all over the place - and dog beware if your doggo eats it, because then it gets sick. Fuck those geese sons of bitches.