Although the thread is still available in the catalog I couldn't reply to it since "thread sunk too deep". Sad and also why?
I attached the other thread text-only and for better understanding (mostly the outfit cleavage episode) the pictured version for the Bernds who are new to my blog.
Hier wir gehen:
So even though I've seen her for months now we've never talked about sexuality, because it doesn't play a role in my life other than masturbating sometimes, I don't deem it important, haven't brought it up and she never asked.
So last time I was talking about my dull, sober life I don't really enjoy (see the other thread about drug consumption) and gave thought about "why not start with substance x y z again in a controlled and sensible way?" and then she interrupted me, starting with "my I ask you a really intimate question?" I said sure, if I don't like the question I will just not answer.
Then she went on with "what role does sexuality play in your life?" and I was like "uhm? I don't see anyone or anything like that. So it doesn't really" (she knows that I live a hermit life) and then she continued with "what about masturbation? Do you masturbate?" And I said yeah, sure sometimes. But why do you ask?
While saying that I noticed how I got a little bit aroused and felt a small sensation in my penis, expecting a bulge I looked into my crotch for a moment (just a small bulge, barely noticeable for me) and might have also moved my arms so that I protected my crotch from her lustful glances (I mostly look on the floor when talking, because her eye contact confuses me occasionally, so I don't actually know if she looked at my crotch. But she probably noticed my behavior)
She replied something like "for some people that's some kind of important source of intensity in their life" or something like that.
And then I said I have more important issues (than _trying_ to get laid right now). Would you recommend me installing tinder or what? (As if doing that is not another great way for possible increasing depressiveness, right?)
I might have reacted a little bit butthurt, I'm not even totally sure why.
I just saw the possibility that she will annoy me by recommending magic tricks a la "just have sex!" in the future. Acting like having sex is just installing tinder and having a vagina - with her female bias and perspective and such. So if she recognized my butthurtness she will refrain from doing that?
Did she violate my boundaries by asking about me masturbating? Is this the continuing slippery slope of sexual transgression and boundary violations I'm seeing of her (and probably hoping for, wishfully thinking)?
What's her plan? What's next?
Also: we started reading the book a few weeks ago and continue doing so. Every session we talk about the stuff we read, but just for some minutes, usually extending the 50 minute sessions for some more minutes. 2 or three sessions ago she told me she really likes talking with me about the book. I like it too.
Am I lying? I mean I'm not interested in shallow hooking up and cooming into a woman just for the sake of it. Never was. In those cases (ONS and such) I'm more than fine with just masturbating.
If it's about "dating" and trying to meet a person that has more use than just being a cum dumpster it's more complicated.
I think CBT is actually pretty retarded. It seems great for normies or people who have non-existantial problems. Insurances love it, because it's supposed to bring successes in often just 10-20 sessions.
But CBT is falling out of favor more and more. Of course there are evidence based studies that say CBT can help, but only for some not all. I've heard about numbers saying "CBT success for people with depression: 45%"
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jul/03/why-cbt-is-falling-out-of-favour-oliver-burkeman
https://psychcentral.com/blog/is-cbt-a-scam-a-waste-of-money#1
I definitely wouldn't go for another CBT again nor would I recommend it to Bernds (in most cases).
I've started reading and skimming through this book a bit. I wouldn't dismiss CBT as utter bullshit (how could I if there's evidence suggesting otherwise?), but thinking it's the one way of therapy fitting everyone is pretty wrong. If you try to find a therapist in Germany chances are high you will come across many many CBTs. Since it's so hard to find any that is covered by insurance and you aren't able to pay yourself, most people often don't take into consideration what form of therapy might even be the right for them. How would they even know in most cases?
