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RussiaBernd2021-02-06 19:58:00 · 5yNo. 109001reply
This reminds me of a joke.
This guy, he comes into a bar, walks up to the Bartender and says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you 300 dollars that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single solitary drop."
The bartender says ... now one more time this glass is like a good ten feet away ... he says, "Now wait a minute. Let me get this straight. You're trying to tell me you're gonna bet me 300 dollars that YOU can piss standing over here waaay over there, into that glass, and not spill a single drop?" The guy looks up smiling and says, "That's right." The bartender says, "Young man you gotta bet!" The guy says, "Okay, here we go, here we go."
He pulls out his thang. He's looking at the glass, man he's thinking about the glass, he's thinking about the glass, he thinks glass, he's thinking of the glass, think glass, thinking about his dick. Dick, glass. Dick, glass. Dick, glass. Be the glass. Dick, glass. Dick, glass. Dick, glass. And then SWOOOSH. He let's it rip! And he's ... he's pissin' all over the place, man! He's pissin' on the bar ... he's pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone ... on the bartender ... He's pissing everywhere EXCEPT the fucking glass! Right.
Okay, so, bartender, he's laughing his fucking ass off, he's 300 dollars richer. He's like, "Ha Ha Ha Ha." Piss drippin' off his face. "Ha Ha Ha Ha" He says, "You FUCKIN' idiot, man. You pissed in everything EXCEPT the glass!! You owe me 300 dollars puta." And he goes, "Excuse me, just one, one second." Goes in the back of the bar, and in the back there's a couple of guys playing pool. He walks over to them ... comes back to the bar and goes, "Here you go Mr. Bartender, three."
And the bartender's like, "WHAT the fuck are you so happy about, you just lost 300 dollars you idiot?!" The guy says, "Well, you see those guys over there. I just bet them 500 dollars APIECE, that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone, and piss on YOU, and not only would you be not mad about it ... you'd be happy."
RussiaBernd2021-02-06 20:05:34 · 5yNo. 109002reply
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I'd like a 12 year old scotch please." The bartender, thinking the man wouldn't know the difference, gives him a 5 year old scotch. After taking a sip, the man spits out the scotch and says "That's a 5 year old scotch. I asked for a 12 year old scotch!" The bartender, still not believing the man can tell the difference, gives him an 8 year old scotch. After taking a sip, the man says "Goddammit! I said 12, not 8." Finally the bartender gives the man a 12 year old scotch. After sipping, the man say "Now that's what I'm talking about."
 
A drunken man from across the bar was absolutely amazed with what he just witnessed. The drunk goes up to the man and says, in a slurred voice, "I saw what you just did with the scotch. Have a shot, on me." The man takes a small sip of the given shot, quickly spits it out and says "UGH, that tastes like piss!" The drunk looks at him and says "So how old am I?"
RussiaBernd2021-02-06 20:28:23 · 5yNo. 109003reply
— Why don't blind people go skydiving?
— It scares the shit out of their dogs.
RussiaBernd2021-02-06 20:38:25 · 5yNo. 109004reply
RussiaBernd2021-02-06 20:46:33 · 5yNo. 109006reply
A man had 3 testicles and was very concerned about it so he asked his doctor what he could do about it. The doctor replied that if he talked to people about his problem it could help. So man took the bus home and sat next to another man and said " You know, between us both we have 5 testicles ". The other man turned around and said "Why, do you only have one?"
GermanyBernd2021-02-07 09:53:19 · 5yNo. 109044reply
pee joke was enjoyed and appreciated
FinlandBernd2021-02-07 10:43:32 · 5yNo. 109045sagereply
How german of you
GermanyBernd2021-02-07 13:12:05 · 5yNo. 109048reply
thanks
RussiaBernd2021-02-07 13:46:40 · 5yNo. 109052reply
I see you are a man of culture. Unironically.
United StatesBernd2021-02-07 16:35:03 · 5yNo. 109067reply
all yoges great
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