Do you expect that you will meet someone who will be attracted to you without you having to change your core personality and character?

Yes, you don't?

I think the reason young women like older men is because older men have become dull but are still rich and knowledgeable. I am dull, but poor and unknowledgeable. I think that if I want to, in four years, I can find a girl to marry. However, I wonder if I will even care.

 

A man's life is completed when his education has passed its base formation and he is ready to earn money. I think a Bachelor's degree for someone with academic aspirations is one such milestone, as it renders one capable of a Master's degree and then a post-graduate qualification. A good alternative is the age twenty-one. My grandfather who studied philosophy and psychology said to me that from eight-teen to twenty-one a person becomes mature, if all is well. The last stage of psychosexual development.

 

I don't think a man can love a woman in earnest, the way that is portrayed in film and literature, after his formation. I think that after my psychosexual development, if all I have experienced is sterilised, modern 'dating' and visits to prostitutes, I will die as a misogynist and never really open my heart to a woman.

 

This means that my soul-blade will be dulled and my reasons for finding a partner will be extremely material: wanting children to dull the fear of death, wanting cheaper housing and cheaper living and wanting sexual pleasures, but nothing that isn't interchangeable with anyone through a divorce.

 

Tldr; after the age of twenty-one a person becomes incapable of romantic/Platonic love.

My grandma who used to work as a model chose my grandpa who was a meh looking, poor maths nerd over the rich butcher's son of her village who was after her.

 

Well, 15 years later he will become a professor for maths, write books and eventually even move to Chicago to teach there (but soon go back to Germany because americans were too ignorant for him, kek).

 

By then he actually did earn a shit ton of money.

Did my grandma know that this will happen and took him because of it?

I highly doubt it.

Yes.

Hundreds of thousands of years of human evolutionary history are screaming that it is.

 

The opposite is true nowadays, unfortunately. Americans seem to be leading in every field whereas Europeans are busy following their dreams of opening a shitty art gallery in an immigrant neighbourhood. Pragmatism is the superior philosophy, after all.

 

My grandfather used to be a communist activist, got beaten up by police and thrown out again at age seventeen or something. He became a teacher at first and met my grandmother. He attracted this rich French girl once, who wanted to take him to Europe. After teaching and marrying my grandmother he studied philosophy at this newly started course in Morocco, I think Rabat, not sure. He was a savant and eventually did his thesis on Foucault with big names.

 

My grandmother was a beauty and a lifetime elementary school teacher. She could've married a richer boy, but still enjoyed middle class life which resulted in an atheist psychologist daughter in France, my mother ;the unemployed sociology drop-out and my uncle the compsci professor airplane nerd.

 

All in all, it seems people marry out of weariness and convenience more than out of love. I spoke with my uncle a year or two back and he really wasn't very interested in the woman he is currently engaged to and going to marry. He wasn't in love, he just settled down with her.

 

I wonder why, but the argumentation and discussion around natalism is trying to prove the reason for not having children rather than the reason for having children. Children are positive in that you create something that isn't there, the negative is the default setting.

 

I am torn between this future which is going nowhere with billions and billions of carbon copy NPCs and a child being a drain of energy and happiness in any case but the best possible case and wanting to have a little friend of my own constitution.

 

As a matter of fact, it seems I've hijacked my mother and her husband's children as I am parenting them much the same. In that case, I would be satisfied in terms of tutoring a child according to personal world view and understanding.

 

I am not very optimistic when it comes to relations with women. Maybe it will change in university, this september starting. Maybe not. It seems like a very risky thing that will potentially ruin my financial, legal status and my mental health and happiness.

 

Imagine if I birthed a child and worked my ass off to provide for it, it could turn out like hypereducated David Foster Wallace or any number of intellectuals just killing themselves or just a fucking fratboy interchangeable with any other.

Why would I chose to turn my life into hell and destroy any chance of happiness I have?

What if you are running out of time and want children?

I have no desire to have children at the moment. Nothing that would be required for that is in place in my life right now. First I need these things and then I can decide if I want children.

If you get to that point and you meet a woman who is demanding of you in less than positive ways, 'be keinbernd, provide for me', but she isn't terrible, would you then accept her or wait for a woman who's your soulmate who might never come?

No, wtf?! Of course not.

So where lies the cut-off for Mrs. Right? Do you wait until you fall head over heels at the first second or do you want a nymph-Freya?

This is an autistic way of thinking, in my onion. I either want to be with a woman or don't. There is no 73% woman that I will keep because I don't think there will be a 82% woman anytime soon.